By your side
by Leticiahp16
Summary: After the blast everyone on NCIS is affected. McGee's life is in danger. Will Abby be able to do her best to help him to get through it? Or will he be to much injured to stand the blast damage? McAbby. Spoliers 9x24 Till death do us part.
1. Chapter 1: After the blast

1 - I don't own NCIS or any of it's characters. Just using them as inspiration for some fanfictions.

2 - I'm NOT a native english speaker. So there may have mistakes (it certainly have). I'm sorry. My english is not 100%. But it's good. I'm trying hard to let it easy to understand what I tell.

3 - After watching the season 9 finale this story came up on my mind. It takes place right after the blast. I saw some Tiva versions out there. So I'm writing a McAbby version. But there will be a bit from the other characters as well. But mostly McGee\Abby centric.

4 - I'm not expert in medicine so I'm sorry if there is something wrong about the medical partsi'm not expert in medicine so I'm sorry if there is something wrong about the medical parts.

5 - I hope you enjoy it. Feel free to leave your thoughts on the reviews

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By your side

Chapter 1: After the blast.

* * *

The bomb just seemed to have blown not long ago when Abby felt someone shaking her. Slowly regaining her consciousness she saw Gibbs trying to get her up. Her body was all over in pain.

- We gotta get out of here now - Gibbs said putting her on her feet - Are you ok?

- No. Of course I'm not.

- Come. We must leave.

- What about the others? - Abby asked as they ran their way out of the building

- There's no way we could know that now.

- What if they couldn't make it out of the building in time too?

- They were told to evacuate the place. They should be outside by now.

- Something is wrong - Abby said when something came up in her mind

- Yeah. There was an explosion if you haven't noticed.

- I'm sorry Gibbs - She let go of his hand as he was pulling her and stopped running - You go. I must get back to the squad room.

- What the hell? No.

- McGee warned me about the bomb and told he would have to download some files from his computer to a pen drive (flash drive). I don't think he got out in time.

- We will know about him as soon as we get outside.

- Listen to me Gibbs! - she almost screamed - If you wanna go. Then go! But I'm not gonna let Tim die helpless up there. I can't.

- You don't even know if he really is there

- My gut is telling me to go back. He needs help. I have to do something. I cannot loose him.

- Right - Gibbs said looking in her eyes. He could see her fear through them - I'll go with you

- No. Make sure if Ziva, Tony and the others are alright. And I'll look for him.

- Promisse me you'll go outside as fast as you can if you don't find him.

- I promisse. Take Bert with you.

She gave him the plush hippo and ran towards the staircase while Gibbs went for the exit. Even in her big plataforms she climbed two steps at once in her hurry. Getting o the squad room floor she stopped to look around.

The door to the elevator was open but it was empty. Like a big hole. There was no signal if the elevator was on that floor. Aparently it wasn't there. This couldn't be good.

She then saw all that broken glass on the ground and the place where the big window used to be had only some twisted iron bars. At first sight there was the body from a blonde woman lying close to the wall and the hallway to the team desks.

She gave some steps forward diverting from the body and got stucked at the view of McGee fallen lying on his stomach not far from the woman. Seeing his position she thought he probably was hit hard on the face but didn't know if he just fell or if he has had been throwed backwards. Whatever happend to him seemed bad. His backpack was covering up his face. It fell over his face.

She got closer to him taking the backpack and threw it to somewhere far and right away she got horrified. He had lost a lot of blood. His neck had uncountable small holes and bruises from the glass fragments. Looking closely she saw the back of his head was bleeding as well. He must have hit his head hard through the fall.

It was a complete chaos. Glass broken in everywhere, fire, loud sounds around. Abby's head was burning inside. And her left shouder was almost killing her. She knew it must had been seriously damaged but she didn't care at the moment. She had to take McGee out of here.

Abby knew the procedures in case of emergency. She checked his heart beat. It was lower than normal. She also knew that she shouldn't move him because it was unknow the extent of his injuries. But wait for somebody's help could be too late. The front of the building could collapse anytime.

- Hey. Tim. It's Abby. Can you hear me? - She waited for some signal. Nothing - Move your fingers if you can hear me.

For her despair there wasn't any movement from him. She tried touching slightly his arm. But yet no response. He was unconcious.

- C'mon McGee! Wake up. We need to get out of here - She tried her cellphone for help but there was no signal to make a call - I'm so afraid. I know you're badly injured and I shouldn't move you. However I must do something to take you out of here. But I'm afraid that this could let you even worse.

Suddenly there was a huge noise. She knew the building's structure gettying was weaker increasingly fast. It was now or never. She had to act. Better than do nothing and loose him when there was still a chance despite his ostensible injuries.

She knelt beside him and ran her hand on his arms and legs trying to see if he had any broken bone. She hugged so she could raising hum by his upper body. Even loosing all the weight he did he always would be heavy for her. Making a tremendous effort and using all her strength she had despite her pain. As she couldn't lift him up she ended dragging him to the back of the room where the wall was intact.

She wanted to ask for help but she couldn't go to where the window used to be because it was dangerous. There were no people anywhere near them. And she wouldn't never leave him alone. When Abby looked back at him she saw that he was becoming very pale. She put her face next to his face to check his breath. He wasn't breathing.

- Oh no Tim. Don't do this to me - As she knew the first aid procedures she started performing CPR. Pressing his chest and after made a mouth-to-mouth resucitation - Come back McGee! That's an order! Well I'm not Gibbs but still it's an order. Keep holding on. For Ziva, Tony, Gibbs, your friends and your family. And mostly for me - she tried the CPR again and this time she hear a low sound coming from his throat followed for a short cough.

He didn't move or did anything more than that cough. Even though his health condition was bad it brought her some relieve seeing his small reaction. She couldn't handle if the worst happens and he was gone forever. McGee was a tough guy. As hard as this would be she had high hopes that he was going to make it. And she would make sure to be by his side throught it all.

- That's my boy. Thank you Tim. I know you can listen to me. It's not your time yet. You still have a lot to do in this world. You can't just go now - She said stroking his face with one hand and with the other she held his hand.

She let go of him to see if had somebody on that floor. It seemed as empty as before.

- I need emergency help here! - She screamed - Somebody? Please! - she got no answer.

It was on that moment that the front of the building started to collapse. She had no idea how huge this could get but she rushed back to him and tried to use her own body to shield his fragile body. She lay on top of his body leaning on the ground to not get to touch his body avoiding to make things worse. He would not stand something more falling over him.

She closed her eyes hoping nothing would happen. Wasn't it enough having an explosion? Did we have to go through a collapse too? She started to pray and then she heard some footsteps somewhere near and someone calling her name.

- In here! I need help - she lifted her head to see who it was - Gibbs!

- Why didn't you call for help? - he asked

- I couldn't.

- How is he?

- Bad. He was back there and moved him here. I know i shouldn't touch him. But if I hadn't done we would be dead under the debris by now.

- Well done. This certanly will give time for him. We have to get him out - Gibbs said looking closer to his agent.

- I tried but I can't stand his weight alone. Where are the paramedics?

- The acess to here is difficult. Let's carry him.

- Take care he's too fragile.

- Ok.

They lifted McGee and carried him down. Gibbs hold his upper body and Abby carried his legs.

- What about the others? How are they? Please don't tell me... - Abby was saying.

- As far as possible they aren't that bad.

- Tony and Ziva didn't get out of the building in time?

- They were trapped in the elevador. And as it crashed to the ground...

- What? What the hell were they doing in the elevador? - she asked with eyes wide open - That's a probie mistake. In case of emergency never use elevator. Only the stairs. What were they thinking?

- I wish I could know. Tony had some head injuries and a crushed abdomen. He was trapped between Ziva and the floor when the elevator hit the ground. She had some bruises on her head and a broken arm since pieces of the roof fell over her.

- Oh my gosh. Why? Why all of this? - Abby asked - I know it's too soon to think about it when we have all of thoses injuried people but you better kill that bastard. I mean I'm not the kind of person to wish death to somebody but look what he did to us.

- I know. Don't worry Abby. He's going to get what he deserves.

Coming from Gibbs she woudn't doubt that. They finaly reached the first floor where there were some ambulance stretchers. The paramedics helped them placing McGee at the in one of the stretchers.

- Has he been unconcious for long time? - One of the paramedics asked

- Yes. Since the blast I guess. I found him not much longer after. He didn't show much reaction, his heart beat was low and I had to perform CPR twice. I know that doesn't sound good but promisse me he's gonna be ok - Abby said

- I can't tell much for now and for what you told me he probably is badly injured. We will only have answers at the hospital.

- Then promisse me you will make you best to help him - Abby asked

- We always do. He seems to be between life and death. I don't know if we can do much on him but I assure you that the doctors will do everything they can to help him.

- Thanks. Can I come with him?

- No Abby. You need medical treatment too - Gibbs said

- No. I need to be with him. What if he die? I don't want... I wouldn't... I can't... It's too much... I won't stand loosing him - she said sobbing.

- We are all worried about his condition. But we must take care of ourself first. He is in good hands now. The doctors will do everything in their power to save him.

- As soon as they treat me I demand to stay with him.

- You will Abby.

Soon they were all taken to the hospital. It was only the beggining of a big fight. For their lives. Mostly McGee's life since he was the worst case between the people in the team. And revenge to Harper Dearing for what he did. He was going to pay dearly for that.

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Just some notes:

I believe that everyone at NCIS had first aid classes. So it's not strange that Abby knows how to perform CPR.

I don't know how many chapters this will have but I know this is not going be a short story.

I intend to update this fanfiction once a week. I'm busy writing this story and "Meant to be from the begining" at the same time. So I'm afraid I can't update faster than that.

And finaly. I hope you enjoy it!  
Let me know what you think. Leave your reviews!

Leticiahp16


	2. Chapter 2: No News

1 - I don't own NCIS or any of it's characters. Just using them as inspiration for some fanfictions.

2 - I'm NOT a native english speaker. So there may have mistakes (it certainly have). I'm sorry. My english is not 100%. But it's good. I'm trying hard to let it easy to understand what I tell.

3 - I'm not expert in medicine so I'm sorry if there is something wrong about the medical parts.

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By your side

Chapter 2: No news

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Abby was on the drip for about 3 hours. She was so bored. It seemed way more than only 3 hours for her. She was there alone. No news about anyone. Gibbs left her there maybe was busy up to now. Impatience was taking over her. Being alone there for long time with her left arm in a sling to immobilize her shoulder and the doctor wouldn't come to say something. She needed to know about everybody else. Being stuck to the bed by the IV was like torture for someone as active as she is.

Gibbs had only minor injuries and he was taken care of in a few minutes. The doctor tried to put him on IV. But knowing Gibbs that would never happen. Ziva had her left arm in a cast. Tony had to go through a surgery to repair the damage in his abdomen. They hadn't heard about Vance. And for them Jimmy and Ducky were supposedly safe far from there in Florida for Jimmy's wedding.

The situation of McGee was critical. He was put into artifical respiration since the doctors saw that he couldn't barely breath on his own. They suspected about a serious spine damage that could be causing some pressure on his lung. They would take him to surgery to fix it but only after they were able to get him steady enough to stand the procedure. He also had a concussion. The doctors still would make the evaluation of the severity.

Abby was almost pulling out the IV from her arm when a nurse came into the room.

- What are you doing? You can't take out the IV by yourself - she said

- I just want to get out of here. Why is it taking so long? I'm fine. I want to know about my friends! Nobody says a word. Can't you release me?

- As a nurse I don't have authorization to do that. And if we give medical release to everybody who asks then we wouldn't have patientes and those people could die out there without the right treatment.

- Well I'm not dying obviously. But my best friend could be... - Abby shivered only thinking about the possibility - And I haven't heard a world about his condition. No one seems to care. Do you think I don't have feelings? That I don't care about my friends? That I'm happy without knowing what it's really happening?

- Keep calm Ms. There are a lot of injuried people waiting to be taken care of. So I don't know about everybody.

- Do you know something about Special Agent Timothy McGee?

- I don't know by name either. Let me check my clipboard - the nurse said. Left the room and came back in less then two minutes - I'm sorry Ms Sciuto. No news on him.

- How come? He was in bad shape so the doctor must be doing something to take care of him. Why no news? - Abby realized that the lack of news could only mean the worst scenario. When she talked again her voice was trembling - This can't be good. He... He... He isn't... Is he?

- Honestly I can't answer you that because I don't know for sure. With so many emergencies like we have today all the information are mismatched. Everyone here is on rush.

- Ok. I get it. You have too many people here to take care. So you don't give a damn if people like me are in despair to know about our friends. - Abby definitely lost her patience and pulled the IV abruptly from her arm - That's why I'm getting the hell out of here.

- No don't it! You're gonna hurt even more your shoulder - the nurse tried to advise her but she had already pulled the IV away - Ok. Let's at least put a small bandage where the needle was. And you can try to find how your boyfriend are but you can't leave the hospital until you really get clearance.

- He isn't my boyfriend. We're best friends only. I worry about him and I know he would do the same if I were the one injuried. Just as I worry about the others as well.

- Yeah. I know. Funny how you haven't asked about the others.

- You don't know me! How dare you... - Abby was asking while getting quite angry with the nurse.

- Take it easy, Abbs - Gibbs said coming back in the room - This is stressing to everybody.

- Yup but this freaky here isn't helping. Can't you please take me out of here? Please!

- I've already worked that up. The doctor signed the release papers. They said it would be better for you to stay overnight here and I agree on that but knowing you barely stand a few hours so I convinced him to let you go.

- Thanks Gibbs. You're a hero.

They tried to get more information at the reception but then again they hadn't nothing new. Then they went to the waiting room. Gibbs told her what the doctors said about Tony's and Ziva's conditions.

- Though the idea of get into a elevator on this situation was a stupid idea I'm relieved they were lucky enough to not get more damages than what they had - Gibbs said - But McGee really worries me. It's strange not having heard about him.

- Why can't they just come here and say at least a little about him? It's better than nothing. We have no ideia what it's going on but they must be doing something, right? Is it too much ask them for any news? - Abby said peeved and then again other reason came in her mind - Do you think that when they say there's no news on him it's because for any reason they aren't really working on his health. And not because they don't want to talk yet? Because they would tell us something if they had made any progress, even a minor, there's no reason to hide his condition.

- Maybe they could be working on him now. And have been busy enough to not come to talk to us. The lack of news sometimes is normal.

- I don't think so - She then looked in his eyes looking for an honest answer and asked with a choked voice - Gibbs, do you... do you think he is dead? That there aren't news because there's nothing else they can do to help him. That he died in there?

- Bad news travels fast. They would have told us already. There's no point on making us wait here if there's no way around.

- But it's a chaos over here today. What if they are taking care of priority cases and leaving the casualties to deal with later?

- I wish I could say. He has became like a son to me. Just as you, Tony, Ziva and even Palmer. It hurts me to think in the possibility but given the circunstances I don't know if he can pull through. You saw how bad he was, not counting that he may have internal injuries which makes it worse. Tell me. Do you think he's dead?

- No. Never. My heart is broken but I can feel it's not over. I won't never give up on him. No matter how bad he is, I know he may be barely breathing by now, but he's a strong guy. Heart of a lion as Tony said. Even losing some weight and that he's mostly in his bones being skinny as he is now, but I must say that I believe he has a good flesh amount in the right places and he is more good looking than ever and that he can... - she was saying a bit too fast until meet Gibbs' relaxed look - Ok. Too much information. You don't need to know the last part. Before you ask: No. We are not breaking your rule. But what I mean is that he is strong enough to make it through this.

- We'll have to wait and see what happens. Unfortunately there's nothing we can do to help.

- That's not enough!

- Sorry Abby - Gibbs said giving her a gentle hug taking care with her hurt shoulder - Only the doctors can save him.

- You're breaking your own rule. You realizes it?

- I guess that in tough times there are always exceptions.

- I'm glad that at least Jimmy and Ducky are safe - she said letting go of his hug. She saw something strange in his look - What? Please don't tell me they came back earlier and were in the building by the time of the blast.

- No. Not exactly.

- What happend Gibbs?

- Palmmer called me and told Ducky had a heart attack.

- Oh my god! Tell me he didn't...

- He was found fallen in the beach. I believe the blast's news was too much for him to handle. He's under medical care now.

- Why Gibbs? What is the reason for such evil things being happening all at once. It was not Navy who killed his son. Nor the people who work there. Why?

- Dearing is revolted by his son's death. He can't think logically. He'll balme everyone without pity. Hard to know the psychopath's mind.

- You better understand him Gibbs - she said - I want to see him dead. But then he wouldn't suffer the consequence of his acts. He would die fast before he get what he deserves. He must suffer before his death. To pay for everyone who died today.

- He'll pay for this. You have my word. I'll make sure he gets a death penalty or if it's needed I'll do it myself - Gibbs said kissing her head - I'll see how Ziva is. I bet she isn't tolerating be stuck in the room too. Don't go away.

- Ok.

Abby saw him move away and knew she wouldn't be able to follow his request. Her impatience with the lack of news about McGee was talking louder than her calm. Being a federal agent had its risks. He had gone missing temporarily, had been hurt in field, been held prisioner, and even arrested. But this was by far worst. His life was in risk. And why the doctors couldn't come to say at least a word?

She decided she had to do something. If they wouldn't come give her news on him. Then she would sneak into the ICU (intense care unit) rooms to find him. She didn't know if he was in one of the rooms but it seemed better than to be stopped there.

In a wall near her there was the building's plan. She located the ICU area. Seeing small aisles between big areas she thought should be isolated. Like only staff would use them. She decided to take a chance and try. But first of all while making her way, she made clear no one was paying attenion to her. Slowly opening the door she walked in.

After a few minutes she was begining to feel like she had gotten lost in between all those corridors. And in some times it seemed like she was being followed. She had been almost catched a few times. But managed to make it until at least what she though be the central area. Abby knew she was getting close.

But now there were more people around. Doctors and staff. She had gone too far she wouldn't give up now. She was about to opne the door when she heard a voice.

- I guess it's hard to walk in there unnoticed with these boots.

- Ziva! It's so good to see you well - Abby said giving the woman an half hug since she limited by her shoulder - How are you feeling?

- Lucky for not being worse. And you?

- What the hell were you and Tony doing in a elevator?

- I know it wasn't a clever idea. But was the only option. I heard that the stair we were supposed to take was smashed in pieces by the blast. The elevador ended saving us although Tony got a massive injury on his abdomen which the doctors took care of. So what are you doing soaking around the hospital? - Ziva asked making Abby look at her confused.

- You mean sneaking? I'm trying to find McGee's room. No one wanted to give an update on him. And I got tired of waiting.

- What if you get caught?

- I'll try anyway. You know you got all this ninja style. I could use your help. Please?

Ziva agreed and took a step foward the door. Holding Abby's hand she pulled her behind into the the next halls. They had to hide quickly in some rooms in the way. But they reached theur destination. The ICU. There were lot of room so Ziva went for the right side and Abby by the left. After a moment

- I found him - Ziva said and Abby ran to her side. The israeli was looking into the small rectangle glass in the door. She soon give space to her friend.

Abby pratically stuck her face on the door for a better view. What she saw was heart breaking. He was put in some machines. And seemed as white as a ghost. The most pale that she had ever saw him. He was way worse than she imagined.

- He seems too fragile doesn't he?

- Given what happened he couldn't seem any different. I fear for his life Abby. And I know it would be harder for you than for the others, but you better start to accept that he may not make it.

- Why is everybody being negative? Don't you guys have faith?

- Of course we have. It's just that we need to face reality - ZIva said. Abby kept looking through the glass with a dismay look on her face.

- Hey ladies. What are you doing here? You shouldn't be in this area - a doctor was coming next to them.

- Well if you or anyone on this hospital had the decency to at least tell us, his friends, that he was alive then I wouldn't had the need to see him by myself - Abby said angry. The doctor was about to say something but she raised a hand to stop him - I know there is a complete chaos going on here today. And that you have a lot of people to take care of. Hoewever is it too much to send someone to tell he's alive whatever his condition is? Do you know what the lack of news drive people crazy. I've been for almost four hours in this place and nobody seemed to care about warning us about him - she took a breath after ther little speech - You can talk now.

- I'm sorry. But as you just said we're busy with all this thing. I can assure you that if he had deceased you would have been told by now. Following the protocol we would took him from the room and you would had being asked to sign the papers for the release of the body. We have no update on him so we are working on other cases.

- You're saying that you're not going to save his life? How come? Why aren't you doing anything?

- I can't tell you much but there was nothing we could do up to now. He needs a surgery and for that be possible we need his health stabilized at a minimun condition so that we can work on him. Otherwise we'll loose him. We're about to check him again and try to put him soon into surgery.

- Tell me he is going to be ok - Abby was almost begging

- I can't. Sorry. I wish I could. But he is too critical. Can't promise you anything. And to be honest his chances of getting through the surgery is pretty minimal. He might die in the middle of the procedure. I wouldn't get my hopes high if I were you. We know there are people there for him. So we'll be doing the surgery but I can't garantee anything. We'll do our best to help him

- Thank you doctor. We'll leave now - Ziva said and wrapped an arm around Abby's shoulder - Please just let us know when you take him to the surgery.

- Ok. Don't worry. As soon as I get an update I'll make sure you get the news.

Abby was unwilling to leave the place but Ziva managed to lead her back to the waiting room. Abby made an excuse and left for the bathroom while Ziva made her way to Tony's room where she found Gibbs already sitting in there.

- Ziva are you alright? - Tony asked. The last time he saw her was a little after the explosion still in the NCIS building.

- Yeah. I'm ok. How are you feeling?

- Taking off the abdomen pain and the headache I'm ready to chase down that bastard. So where's McGeek? I haven't heard about him since the evacuation order. I though he would come to see me - He said and saw the moment when Gibbs and Ziva exchanged glances trying to decide who was going to break the news. Something seemed wrong - He got out of the building right?

- He stayed behind to save some files about Dearing in a... a... - Gibbs was saying trying to remember. He was never good with computer related things - Something mobile. We never get the chance to leave. Abby found him fallen between both of your desks. I believe he was leaving when the bomb went off. He was full hit by the blast.

- How.. How is he boss?

- I have no idea since the hospital... - Gibbs was saying

- I got news on him. I helped Abby sneak into the ICU area. We were able to get a glimpse of him - Ziva said taking a deep breath.

- And? Say it.

- He was bad. He seemed to be barely holding on. Then we met the doctor who said they intended on putting him in surgery anytime soon but that depends on his health stability. He said it is a high risk surgery. And there's a high possibility that he might not resist it.

There was an awkward silence in the room while everyone were thinking about McGee. They certainly couldn't deal with another death. After Kate, Jenny, Mike Franks and many others that died on the line of duty. Even counting the ones that died today with the blast. The probie (even knowing he wasn't probie anymore the nickname would never die) didn't deserve to have his life ended this way.

- We should be careful about her. She's quite blind towards him. Doesn't matter how critical his situation is she believes he's gonna be ok after all. She doesn't believe in any other way. I wished I hadn't to say this but honestly I don't think he'll survive. And this will break Abby in pieces but we need to help her face it.

- We can only hope for the best.

While the three of them were talking Abby had gone to the bathroom. She was trying hard to control her emotions. The image she had of him lying on that bed helpless was desolating. So weak. So undefended. The reality started to make sense in her head. But she would never give up. She would go until the very end. She would pray even if the others said it is a lost case. She would be stronger for him. She would be faithful until his last breath if it was the case. But she would never let go of him while there was a chance, even that minimal, but she still would be there.

Of course she didn't want anyone to get hurt but why McGee? He was such a great person. Someone like him, gentle, respectful, honesty, lovely and loyal to his friends was hard to find. And the way he treated women was a rare thing on men nowadays.

Deciding she couldn't spend the whole day in there and that she needed more news on him she left the place to looking for Gibbs and Ziva. She found them at Tony's room.

- I'm glad, despite the injuries, to see you're alive Tony - She said joining them.

- Thanks Abby. What about you? Are you alright?

- What a dumb question. Of course I'm not. But I'll be as soon as McGee is alright.

- I heard about him. I'm sorry. He's like my brother too and... -Tony was saying but couldn't end the sentence once Abby talked again.

- Gibbs. Please tell me this is all a nightmare. That it isn't happening for real. That when I wake up everything is going to be back to normal. Please? - She begged hugging him. She was biting her lower lip trying hold the tears that were about to stream down her face.

- I wish I could - he answered returning the hug.

- All we can do for now is wait - Ziva said. She was standing next to Tony's bed. She seemed relieved to see him fine.

- Excuse me. Are you the people who wanted to know about Timothy McGee's condition? - A man asked entering the room. It was a different doctor from the one Abby and Ziva met in the ICU.

- Yes! Please tell me good news - Abby asked.

- I'm doctor Michael Philipps. I came to warn you that the pacient is ready to go under a surgery to fix his damaged spine. With the blast he must have hit hard on the ground causing his injuries. And because of this his lungs were affected as well. And there might be internal injuries that we need to repair.

- Is it a complicated procedure? - Gibbs asked

- Extremely. The risk is high. He might suffer an internal bleeding, cardiac arrest, convulsion and only God knows what else. The doctors who are in his case have studied if it was worth to do the surgery.

- Why isn't it worth? - Tony asked - His life is in danger? Can he die in the surgery?

- Yes. We might loose him. But if we want to save him we have to take the risk. Otherwise do nothing is going to result in the same way.

- So I believe it is going to be take time. Do you now how many hours? - Ziva asked

- I can't tell for sure. From five until eight or even more time.

- Just promise me you are going to try everything you can to save him - Abby asked

- We're going to do our best but I can't promise it's gonna work - the doctor said - It seems like his family isn't here yet. We tried to contact them but we didn't get to talk to anyone.

- His family is out of country. Sarah travelled with their parents to Germany. Do you need something? - Gibbs said

- Yes. I need someone to sign the consent for the surgery.

- I'll take responsability on him - Abby said - Just give the papers - After reading some terms she signed and gave it back to the doctor.

- Thank you. And you all might take a break now to calm down or whatever. I'll only have news on him again after the surgery. Specially you Ms. Sciuto. Or you'll end up hospitalized again for high stress.

The doctor left the room and they kept in silence. Ziva, Gibbs and Abby went back to the waiting room. Allowing Tony to rest for some time. The Israeli lady went to pick up lunch even that it was already middle afternoon.

Abby barely didn't ate her food. She had no hungry. All she could think about was about McGee. She was very tense and anxious. Fear was something that was starting to take control on her even that she wouldn't admit it. Gibbs tried to helper her keep the calm but fail. She was troubled. She couldn't stay in a place for long time. One minute she was sitting there, the other she was standing. Some time later she was pacing around the place.

Gibbs thought in the possibility of persuading Abby to be put on sedative so she could sleep and rest through the time while the surgery was going on. The wait seemed way more torturous for her than for him or Ziva. But she refused everything. At the times she was able to keep herself sat for morer than ten minute Ziva would hold her hand for support.

Ziva knew that this was hard for anyone. To have friends in this situations. This would always be hard no matter whoever it was. But McGee and Abby. There has always been something special about them. It's not easy to break up a relationship and keep being friends. But they managed much more than that. They were best friends. But Ziva wasn't silly she knew it was much more than "best friends". Sometimes she could see love between them even in minor acts. She could imagine Abby should be going through a hell. And if the worst happens Abby wouldn't bear his lost. Even that there was nothing else going on between them they were so connected and then she would suffer the most.

The hours were passing by like days. Too slow. It was killing her inside. Staying there without being able to do something and not knowing how the surgery was going on. But maybe this time the lack on news meant something good, she thought. If something went wrong they would have told.

After more than seven hours waiting, the clock was almost hitting midnight Abby was sitting close to Gibbs with her head in his shoulder lost in her thoughts. Ziva went back to stay with Tony.

They heard a sound of a door being opened and turned to see the same doctor that hours ago told them about McGees condition. His countenance was serious. Just like someone who had to break bad news.

- So doctor. How does it went? How is he? - She asked tremulous getting up.

- It was a complex procedure and it didn't went as we expected it to go.

- Can't you say it straight? - She asked impaciente.

- I'm sorry. We've lost him... - The doctor was saying.

She didn't even waited to hear his complete sentence. After those last words life stopped making sense for her. It was like a hole had appeared right underneath her feet and she was falling through it. How could it be happening? She was feeling so empty, so lifeless. How was she supposed to live in a world without him. McGee couldn't die like this. It was unfair. He didn't deserved it. No one did. But why him?

* * *

Chapter 2 is up.

Wow. It's bigger than I thought. I love details. So I always end up writing a lot more than expected. 4.500 words are too much for only a chapter I think.

Suspense! I love that. What happend to McGee? What about Abby?  
Don't get into despair... Just wait fot the next chapter and you will see.

As I told you before I'm uploading weekly. So the next chapter will be out probably next Thursday or no later than Saturday (June 10th). Sorry I wished I could do it faster. But for you to have an idea I don't have the third chapter written yet. Exactly because I'll write it through the week.

And I'm also writing "Meant to be from the beginning". Luckly this story is advanced. So I don't need to write much everyday. You might enjoy this story as well.

So let me know what you think. Reviews are welcome.  
Hope you like it.


	3. Chapter 3: A last farewell

1 - I don't own NCIS or any of it's characters. Just using them as inspiration for some fanfictions.

2 - I'm NOT a native english speaker. So there may have mistakes (it certainly have). I'm sorry. My english is not 100%. But it's good. I'm trying hard to let it easy to understand what I tell.

3 - I'm not expert in medicine so I'm sorry if there is something wrong about the medical parts.

* * *

Previously on Ncis:

- So doctor. How is he? - Abby asked tremulous getting up.

- I'm sorry. We've lost him... - The doctor was saying.

She didn't even waited to hear his complete sentence. After those last words life stopped making sense for her. It was like a hole had appeared right underneath her feet and she was falling through it.

* * *

- I'm sorry. We've lost him twice through the surgery, for a few minutes at each time. It was necessary to restart his heart. Those minutes can have made his condition get worst. With his heart stopped the oxygen couldn't be taken to his brain. So now he may have some brain damage. Or even irreversible damage leading to encephalic death. But we'll only know in further exams. Or if he ever wake up.

- So he didn't die but his situation is even worst? - Gibbs asked

- Yes. I told you there were some risks. We managed to fix his spine, his thorax and lungs. But we'll only see results if he wake up. Because we need him to answer our commands so we can see what is right or wrong.

- Could his spine wound have affected his arms and legs moviments?

- Too soon to tell.

Abby who was lost in thoughts for a few seconds started to pay attention on doctor words again. She then realized she had jumped into conclusions.

- So you're saying that he is still alive? - she asked

- Yes. That's what I just told you. Severely critical but alive.

She felt a strong relief run through her body. There was still a chance. It wasn't over yet. She would stick with him even knowing how extremely hard his condition was. She would fight for him. She wouldn't allow anybody to give up of him. She would be there to make sure that all that could be done, would be done for him.

- Are you Abigail Sciuto?

- Yes that's me. Why?

- I've been told that you're the one who found him. And that you moved him...

- Don't tell that this is wrong. I know it's. I know first aid procedures. But believe me I had to do that! He would be dead by now if I didn't. Now he's bad but at least he has a chance.

- Calm down lady. I was going to tell you that your CPR was primordial. The problem wasn't about moving him. His breathing is still the problem. And we're managing this with the breathing machine. Just so you know you gave him a last chance to be brave and fight for his life.

- I know. He's not a lost case. You'll see.

- What are his chances to survive? - Gibbs asked - In terms of percentage.

- I don't like to tell this but I've got to be honest. Seeing how he is now I'd give a 1% chance of survive. And all the sequels he may have. I hate to tell you but I'd give him one week at the most.

- Is he that bad? - Gibbs asked

- Unfortunatelly. At this point only a miracle can save him. He's at God's hands - the doctor spoke - Now if you excuse me I must go back. And I'll let you know when you can come to see him.

- Thank you for the news - Gibbs said. He and Abby went back to the chairs. He had an arm around her healthy shoulder. He knew she must be suffering with all of these bad news. It's hard for him, could you imagine what it was like for her? Only God knew. He could only pray for God to give her strenght to keep going if the the worst happen. Which could happen any moment judging his condition.

- You know, people give up on things easily - Abby said - They need to trust more in faith. It's a hard moment but miracles happen. They can say whatever they want but I'll hold on in this 1%. Sometimes you get lost but you always find your way out. I believe in miracles so all of you can tell me he's not gonna make it but I'll disagree. I believe on his recover. So I'm lost right now but the when he wake up and his health start to improve each day more, that's the moment when I'll find myself again. Then you all will witness a miracle.

- I believe you. Of course all of us want him back. But it's not our choice. And you should open your eyes or you'll suffer way more if he dies. It's nice that you have hope and I want to believe that everything is going to be ok but seriously I don't think he'll survive. The blast, his wounds, his heart stopped. It's not something that will easily get back to normal.

- If you alll want to be negative that's on you. But I'm strong in my decision. I'll stick with him through it all. And we'll see the day he'll get out of this hospital more healthy than never. It doesn't matter that people says he only got 1% chance of getting out of it alive. This is what will count more in the end. He's brave and this ain't an easy battle. I know he'll make it. Something in here - she pointed to her heart - says he won't die.

- Alright - Gibbs said after seeing determination in her eyes. He knew it wasn't worth to try to tell the otherwise to her. To make her see the reality. It was already too late in the night - You should go home, change into new clothes and get some rest. C'mon I'll drive you home.

- No. I can't go. I just can't stay away from him. What if... what if something happen?

- Don't worry. He's not going anywhere. The doctors are taking care of him and there's nothing you can do now. Tomorrow you can come and visit him.

Contradicted she had no option but follow his suggestion. She didn't want to leave but she had to go home. Her clothes were dirty and she had dust from the blast on her body and she definitly needed a bath. Feeling emotionally and phisically exhausted she knew it wasn't a good idea to disagree with him. But she wouldn't stay away for too long. The most earlier in the next morning she would be back to see him.

Getting home she didn't feel like doing anything. She went to the bathtub, took off her clothes and got in. The water falling on her head while filling the bath. So many things running into her mind that she didn't even know what to think. Closing her eyes she wasn't able to hold anymore a tear that was threatening to fall a long time. McGee meant everything to her. Even that a relationship hadn't worked before. His friend was the most special. She had a lot of friends but with him it was always different. Sometimes words weren't even needed. They knew what was going on with each other just by the look. They would go to each other when they needed to talk like when something was wrong. Because they understood perfectly what the other felt and they only could find solace together.

She couldn't deny that she still loved him. But she managed to sort out this from their friendship a long time ago. She learned to to live with it. Since she was the one who ended the things between them she thought she didn't had the right to take a chance again with him. And now this misfortune. Not knowing what could happen. She felt much love for him but in this war for his life, this meant nothing. She would be there for him as a friend. Just as she would be for any other friend. Deep down she would never admit that, but her love was somehow affecting her judgements and this was making her not be able to see reality cristal clear. She couldn't see any other way than McGee walking out the hospital and being 100% healthy. She put this in her mind with such determination. It made it seem like he was lightly injuried. When in reality even his heart had stopped.

And to be true she would do everything, even something out of her power, to help his recovery. Do much more for him than for any other friend. Ziva and Tony were like brother and sister to her. Gibbs like a father. Ducky and Jimmy and people at NCIS were like a family too. However she had never been able to place McGee like a brother. It felt awkward. Having had a past with him. Even after all those years he meant way more than a brother would mean. It was confusing to figure out how to sort him in her life. She had enforced herself to kept their friendship on top of any other possibility. And knew he must have done the same. Or things could get embarrassing between them.

Abby stepped out of the bathtub and wrapped herself in a towel. She felt so tired that didn't even put new clothes. She went straight to her coffin bed and lay there. Afraid of falling asleep and have a nightmare about all of this she just kept looking up nowhere specifically just lost in thoughts.

After sometime she knew she wasn't getting any sleeping that night and got up putting some new clothes. She took a travel bag and started to put things necessary to spend some days at the hospital and make her stay at least confortable. Clothes, book, hygiene products and a few other things. She was determined to stay by his side for as long as he had to stay there.

It wasn't even 7am and Abby was already in the hospital. She tried to see him but she wasn't allowed. It could have made her lost her pacience but instead she decided to wait. She was a bit stressed with all that happened and a discussion so soon in the morning would help in anything. She then made her way to Tony's room where she was allowed since he wasn't an ICU patient. For her surprise he was already awaken.

- Abby! Good morning. What are you doing here so soon?

- The obvious. Waiting to see Tim. It's gonna take some time - Abby said sitting in a chair close to the wall and putting her bag in the chair by her side - Are you feeling better?

- Yes. I just want to get out of this bed. There's nothing to do. I miss my movies. At least if there were a television here it would make things easier. So are you planning to move here to the hospital along with McGee?

- That's no funny. As long as I can I'll stay at his room. He's all alone there. I want to make him companion. You know maybe he can hear me. People in coma can't express reaction or answers but they still can hear.

- Sorry I was just joking. It's nice from you to do that and I'll visit him too but you don't have to stay there like living there with him. If we get better it'll be an extremely long road. It's not gonna happen all of a sudden. Staying here waiting to see progress will be like a torture.

- There's not "if he get better". He is going to get better. What is wrong if you guys? Are you guys wanting to see him dead?

- Of course not. Honestly, what do you see that we don't? - Tony asked curious about her strong faith - McGee is too weak, unconcious, barely breathing, his heartbeat is getting lower and lower. It's about to stop. Forgive me Abby but he's practically a dead man. I wish there was other way around but I'm not blind. Only the inexplicable will take him out of this situation. What makes you think...?

- Ok I get it. You also don't believe in miracles. None of you do. That's a pity. Because in the end you all are going to be mistaken.

- Won't you wanna be part of the plan to catch Dearing?

- Of course I'll. Why?

- You won't be able to stay here all the time.

- I know. But I will spend all my free time with him.

They kept their talking for a few more minutes untill Gibbs and Ziva arrived in the room. He had his famous coffee with him and Ziva was carrying a laptop. They wished a good morning between them.

- We just got back from the NCIS building. It is a mess. Luckly the structure didn't came down completely. But it's damaged. The stair is under rubbles and Vance was found in between them. Before you two worry he's okay. Injuried but ok.

- I got acess to the flash drive where McGee saved the data. Now I'm putting in order. Hopefully we'll find something that help us locate that man - Ziva said

- Are you going to travel to somewhere Abby? - Gibbs asked

- To McGee's room. I want to see him. But they didn't allow me going in there yet. They said it's too soon. As if in his situation he would mind having me there so soon.

- I told you to go home and rest... - Gibbs was saying

- And I told you I wouldn't stay far from him for too long - Abby said getting up and taking her travel bag with her - I'm sorry about talking like this to you Gibbs. But you have no idea how much I'm suffering right now by being kept away from him. Please take me to see him. Help me talk them into letting me go there. I'm not gonna be a problem. I just... I just wanna be with him. It isn't ask too much, is it?

Gibbs couldn't deny her that. And if this is what will make her feel better then he would help her for sure. Ziva stayed with Tony while they went to the reception. After what seemed like fifteen minutes they finaly got them to let her stay with him. She had to sign a paper accepting some rules. One of the nurses lead them to McGee's room.

Five minutes later they reached their destination. The nurse let them there and went to take care of other patiente. Abby was the first one to get in. She would never get used to the image of him tied to the bed. He was not actually tied. But it looked like that. Again he had the breathing pipe connecting the machine to his mouth. He had something over his nose too. And an IV that was beeing used to keep him hydrated. He was even more pale if it was possible.

It was hard for Gibbs to see his agent in that way, actually he had became like a son to him so it made even harder. He would pray for him to be ok but seeing him with his own eyes made him think it wouldn't be worth. He was so weak and vulnerable. Like the doctor said he would have only days left until... until he couldn't resist to the damages anymore.

- His condition seems pretty ugly, doesn't? - Abby asked. She had a sad look upon her face. She wished they could go back and time at least to be able to save everybody. She wished they had had more time to leave the building. So at least he wouldn't be badly injured.

- I'm sorry. I wish I could tell you everything will be ok but you can see how he really is.

- Why am I the only one who think he can pull through it all? Is it that hard to believe?

- Maybe because you can find faith where no one else can - Gibbs said - Look I'll leave you alone with him. I got to go back and start to chase that bastard. You will be fine?

- Now that I'm with him, yes. Thanks Gibbs - She said hugging him

- Did you had dinner last night? Did you had any sleep?

- No. How could I? With all that happened?

- How do you intend to be strong for him if you get sick? You must take care of yourself too Abby. I'll send someone to bring you food. And get some sleep as son as you can.

- I'll. Now I'm feeling better.

- Call me if you need.

Gibbs left the room leaving one hopefully Abby behind. She started to get settled on that room. It wasn't big but it didn't had to be. It had a small couch close to the wall and a chair. Which she pulled closer to his bed and sat in front of him.

- Hey big man. Are you trying to scare all of us? You better not let me alone in this crazy world. Whom I'm going to appeal when I need a miracle from Santa? You're the only one who understand everything I talk like the terms I use in the lab and obviously the computer terms that are your speciality. Did you forget you're my geek? - Abby said and started stroking lightly his had - It has been excruciating to watch you like this. Motionless, tied in all those machines. I guess I'm the only one who thinks you can recover from all of this. So help me Timmy. To prove them wrong. You're strong so just hold on. And I promise you we'll take down that man who did this. And just so you know, I'll be with you as long as you need. Sometimes I'll leave to help Gibbs but other than that I'll spend most of the time here by your side waiting for the day when you'll wake up. I know it's out of your control, but please don't take so long. And dammit, stop scaring us!

This was only the begining of a long journey but she didn't care. As long as it worked and he could get back to them she would be really happy. She glanced his heart monitor. It was beating a bit slower than the normal way.

- C'mon heart of a lion! You should speed up a little.

During the next seven days things didn't changed. Abby's routine was the same. Wake up in the small couch in his room, stay a bit with him, go home for eat and take shower. Go to Ncis to pack up her lab. It wasn't destroyed at all. All her machines were intact. Only the windows and minor things had been damaged. She was there along Ziva helping Gibbs and Vance find Dearing. They were gettying closer to find the man. And then at night she would get back to the hospital to see him. She used to tell him how was her day and how things were gonig at NCIS. Everyday she did this.

Still between these days Tony had been discharged from the hospital. He was told to remain at rest. He had to use a wheelchair for a few more days to avoid making strain because of his abdomen. It didn't take too long to he ignore the medical orders and walk by himself. It's was painful but he couldn't stand keeping his movements limited. Ziva tried to get him back to the weelchair but it was worthless. He wanted to help find Dearing. He had visited McGee too and felt sad seeing his "little brother" like that. He made him a promisse that all of it wasn't going to be in vain.

They were told by Jimmy that Ducky was feeling better. After the blast it was only by now (a week later) that they were starting to get the good news. They were really close to catch the man and everyone was getting better. The only problem was McGee that hadn't had any improvement in his health. And was still considered critical. His family came to visit him. Sarah (his sister), his mother and even his father with whom he had some past issues.

After the ninth day after the blast, Abby kept her routine and arrived in McGee's room at the end of night. She put her bag on the couch, the travel bag was kept under it since she wasn't going to carry it everywhere, and started to pacing back and forth in the room.

- Timmy. I'm sorry I'm this late. You won't belive but I have huge news. Actually I know you will believe but... whatever. Wanna guess? Wanna guess? I just got a confirmation that you're not in this situation in vain. Your flash drive had a precious clue. We found out a bank account under an alias and we manage to put our hands in a security video camera that proves that this account is from Dearing. And we have an adress to get him. Gibbs is about to coordinate a team to arrest him. Even Tony is in the plan. A bit hurt yet and against Gibbs orders but he doesn't want to miss this opportunity to give that bastard what he deserves.

She then took a book out of her travel bag and pulled the chair closer to his bed.

- We did it Tim. With your help. It's only matter of time until he have him on our hands. For the people who died, for the ones hurt, for Ducky. For you. So be strong because we all love you. You know it pretty well. I have a lot of things to tell but for now I'm going to read a book for us. A friend of mine indicated me this one. It's about science and technology. There's a chapter about Jet packs. I'm sure knowing how crazy you're about it, you must have read something like this before but I don't think you'll mind.

She started reading the book for him without noticing that Tony and Ziva were watching her by the door.

- She is so affectionate to him - Ziva said - All the things she has be doing for him. Making him company even when he has no idea what is happening. Looks like a mother taking care of her son.

- There's nothing about mother/son with these two. I'd say she is like a wife protecting her husband.

- Then I would say friends. However it is clearly something way more than that. We help ours friends when they need. But what she is doing for him is...

- You don't need much to understand the key word for this?

- And what would that be?

- Love, my dear - Tony said - Abby is a big hearted person. And she would be there for a lot of friends. When Cade got shot she made him a visit. I heard that this made McGee quite jealous but that's not the point. What she's doing for him is much more than she would do for any other friend. I believe what she feels for him it's much more than just a friendship. If not that, what else could it be?

- Let's hope McGee will be ok. Then we will know. I don't know what goes on between them but I guess if everything end up alright after all of this then there might be a chance for them to get together. But I'm not the right person to talk about it - Ziva said - Let's go. We must go back and help Gibbs.

They left and Abby was still reading for McGee. Some minutes when she was really sleepy, she stopped and went to sleep on the couch. The next morning she woke earlier. She was about to head for NCIS to see how things went with Dearing.

- Good morning honey. I didn't want it but I'll have to go soon today. I can't wait to know how the operation to arrest Dearing went. I'll be back soon and hope I can bring you the best news possible. Wish me luck!

When she got to building she went to the squadroom and sat at McGee's desk. In the previous days she had arranged his drawers and took his personal belongings to keep them in a better place. For the moment his things where at her house. The front of the building was restricted. Only in the back part was allowed to be used. She had tried to call Gibbs and the others on their cellphones but couldn't. When she got inside the squad room she was told they were in MTAC in a conference. Twenty minute later they finally get out of there and Abby, that was really anxious by now, had the chance to know what happened.

- Please tell me the plan worked and that Dearing is behind the bars ready to pay for his acts.

- It didn't went as we wanted - Gibbs said - We found him. Our intention was to arrest him but he chose to withstand the arrest order. There were no other option except to shoot him down.

- He deserved to suffer for what he had done. Dead he won't face the consequences but he chose his end when he decided to confront us. At the end he payed for his acts. He won't cause any more problems for us.

- Yes. That's done. Now we have to concentrate to fix things over here before we can get another case.

- We just need McGee and Ducky healthy and everything is going to be as it was. After all it's just another war we've won.

- Talking about Ducky. Palmmer called yesterday saying he was finally discharged from the hospital - Gibbs said - He'll stay a few more days there to rest. But if he could he would be here already.

- He better stay away from all this stressfull situation. I'm going back to see McGee. Do you want to come?

- Yes. Just give me a minute.

Gibbs drove their way to the hospital. Meanwhile he was telling Abby some details from last night operation. It didn't take long for them to reach the hospital. They were heading to the ICU hall right now.

- It will take time but until there Vance ordered us to work improvised in the building. Agent Dorneget is going to join the team to replace McGee. But I'm sure they are working hard to give us better conditions. - Gibbs said

- Dorneget is a nice guy. But it will be temporarily until McGee get back. I'm sure he will want get back as fast as he can. I wonder if we could do a party... No. No. I don't wonder. We'll definitely do a party for Ducky and McGee to welcome them back. I've already got some... - She was saying while they opened the ICU hall. The scene that they encountered was shocking, mostly for her.

- Code blue. Code blue. Room 115 - A nurse was saying. There was a rush between the medical staff - Bring the desfibrillator here now! The patient suffered a cardiac arrest.

- 115? Oh my God. That's Tim's room. What is happening? - she asked. Not waiting an answer she started running but soon as she did this Gibbs caught and hold her - Get off me! I need to...

- You two stay where you are. Emergency procedure. You can't come in. Go back to the waiting room - another nurse ordered. Gibbs tried to pull her but Abby resisted. She tried at least to have a better angle to see what was happening. The nurses put the equipment in the room to start the procedure.

- Let's resuscitate the paciente. On 3 - the doctor said - 1, 2. Move away, 3! - The man used the desfibrillator to give McGee's heart a shock. There was no response.

- Nothing.

- Again! Move away. 1,2,3! - the doctor repeated the procedure. Once more without response - For the last time! Move away! 1,2,3! Go.

There was a moment of apprehensiveness in the room where everyone was looking at his heart monitor. Abby was waiting outside in the hall fearing what could happen. Gibbs was by her side also fearing for his agent's life. It took some more seconds than it should but finally the monitor started to signalize his heartbeat again.

- That was close. Let's keep an eye on him hour by hour.

They took the equipment out of the room and doctor left the place too. The moment Abby saw him she ran to him.

- Please doctor. Is he ok?

- He got him stable again. His heart is weak and we'll run some exams trying to figure out what is going on. He is here for almost two weeks and no signal of improvement on his health. His time is running out. If he doesn't show any improvement then I'm afraid there's nothing more we can do. His heartbeat is too slow and we aren't being able to revert this situation. Sooner or later this will start to harm his blood circulation and it may make his organs fail. It's going to become irreversible.

- Can I see him?

- I'm afraid not today. We'll have to take extra care with him. He'll be taken to examinations rooms and maybe other procedures. It's better you come back tomorrow.

- What if something happen to him?

- We'll let you know. Now if you excuse me.

The doctor went away leaving behind a desolated Abby who was being hugged by Gibbs.

- I can't take it Gibbs! It's too much! - she said failing on holding her tears that now started to stream down on her face - I'm trying so hard to be strong for him but seeing him almost dying doesn't help.

- Since you won't be able to stay here I'll take you to my house. You can rest there and we can talk abou it if you want.

- I really didn't want to go away from him now but I don't think I have choice.

Abby was feeling really down. And what she saw was just painful. She wouldn't give up on him but she wasn't blind. She could see he was getting every day worse bu she didn't want to believe on it. She rejected this fact.

Gibbs told she could do whatever she wanted in his house. To make her feel comfortable. She was feeling so exhausted emotionally that she tried to sleep to rest her mind.

By the night Gibbs and Abby were down in his basement. He was building something with a wood piece while she had been sitting close watching him. But by know she kept pacing back and forth lost in her thoughts.

- Something in your mind Abby?

- A lot I guess. Everything that is happening is just confusing. And poor Tim. Being on the hospital for two weeks and not getting any better. Why him Gibbs? He's an awesome person. He wouldn't harm even a fly. He doesn't deserve it.

- I know. I wished that no one had been hurt badly. But we can't control those things.

- It's not fair! - she said a bit loud - He can be tough when he needs to be. But other than that he's a sweet guy. Hard to find someone like him. I couldn't live without having him around.

- All this past days you've been over protective, over careful on him. And between all of us you're the only one who believe he has a chance although his bad condition - Gibbs said - You still love him, don't you?

Abby was surprised by his question. She thought he wouldn't never ask something like this for her mostly because she tried hard to hide it. She didn't want to admit it because in the end it wouldn't change anything.

- No. I don't. We're good friends and... - she was saying but stoped when she looked in his eyes. He surely knew it was a lie and she hated lying to him - Ok. You got me. Yes. I do love him. Very much. But it doesn't matter now.

- Do you think he loves you the same way?

- Why are you asking me this? Maybe. Sometimes I think so. He gets quite jealous at times and cares too much about me. So what? That doesn't mean anything.

- If you love each other why didn't you.. you kown...

- To get together? It doesn't mean just because we love each other that it makes things easier. We have being friends for too long. I don't think by now love would change something about us. When he first came to work at NCIS we had a nice time together but he wanted to get serious too fast and I wanted it to be casual at first. We weren't ready. After that we got used to see each other almost every single day. And as a result we got really close as friends. We talk about things that I wouldn't talk to any other friend.

- Is friendship enough for you?

- I can't answer that. I mean, the fact that we see each other a lot made us, kind of unintentionally, take this for granted that it would happen forever. We never really stopped to think about maybe trying again. And now that we've been apart by this explosion I don't know what to think seeing how his health is not improving.

- So you're hoping he get better so you two can have your happy ending?

- God no! Gibbs, why do you think of me like that? I want him totally healed but everything I'm doing, and I'm not gonna deny that there's love on it, is merely by our friendship. I'd do this for him like he would do for me. The fact that I love him makes me stronger to keep by his side, without loosing hope. But you from all the people should know that I don't expect anything in return. I would never do that. I want to help him in this hard moment, through his recovery as long as it takes. For all of this as a friend. The day he gets totally healthy again I'll be so much happy. It doesn't matter if he doesn't want me to be something more in his life. If he chooses another woman for him I'll be happy the same way. As long as she isn't another psycho I'll be ok with it. Sometimes he has bad luck with women. I just want my best friend back. Besides it'd be selfish from me to want him back just because I was almost at risk of loosing him forever since I was the one who had ended the things back then.

- Then you should not let love affect your judgments. We want him to get better but what if it's time to let him go...

- Please don't say it!

- Yes I have to say it - Gibbs said - Maybe what is better for him it's not good for you. Life demand us sometimes to make extremely hard decisions. I know this might break your heart but what if it's best for him to finaly rest in peace?

- No! He still has a chance. I'm not letting go of him.

- A small one. You have to understand Abby, if he pull through, which would be a miracle, the sequels are going to be severe. It can make him suffer and make he become depressed. And God knows what else. Do you really want to see him alive but in pain and suffering for not being able to get his life as it was before?

- Of course not. But who says it's going to be like that? Don't you think he can deal with the sequels? No one said it is easy but I'm telling you: he can.

- You're not thinking straight. If McGee were at your place seeing you in that hospital bed he also wouldn't bear seeing you alive and suffering. As much as it would hurt him he would let you go in peace. You surely also means a lot for him but seeing you this way would be painful for both of you.

- You're probably right but I don't wanna listen to it anymore. No matter what everyone says I still believe. Can you guys at least pretend that you believe too? - She asked making her way out of the basement.

- Where are you going?

- Home.

That night was hard for Abby get sleep. She kept having nightmares with McGee no making it. She woke up several times. She was realising at each day how complicated his condition was. But that doesn't mean she would give up the hope.

The next week went by without any improvements on McGee's health. It has been over 24 days without response and the doctors were starting to think about other alternatives. They had done a lot of exams and hadn't got good results. They knew the pacient hadn't had brain death because they had response from McGee's eyes. When they did the test with the flashlight in his eyes the patient showed some reflexes. But other than that, nothing else.

During those days Abby didn't change much her routine. She still would spend some time by his side and sleep on the couch. But she started to get back to her normal routine. She went more to home, to church, to NCIS and other places she needed to go. Sister Rosita, with whom she still used to play bowling, gave her a small necklace that had an amulet for protection. She took it and tied it in his bedside. Maybe this should bring him more protection.

It was a thursday afternoon when Abby had left McGee's room to go in a compromise. At night Gibbs called her and told she needed to get back to the hospital with urgency. She quit what she was doing and went there as fast as he could. The way she drove could have got herself in a car crash but she didn't mind. She needed to know what was going on and it pissed her very much that Gibbs didn't want to talk what that was about.

When she got to the waiting room she saw Gibbs, Tony and Ziva standing close to each other in silence. All of them had their backs turned to the door. But as she walked to them, they could hear her boots sounds and turned to face her. The look on their faces was of consternation.

- What happened? - She could barely talk - Why those faces? How bad is it?

- I'm so sorry Abby - Gibbs said while Tony and Ziva stood by her side putting their hands on her shoulder as trying to give her some confort for what the boss was about to tell her - The doctors came to talk to us. Along those days since the blast they had been doing incessantly a lot of exams in order to heal him. It has been many days without a proper response. They've come to a decision.

- Just tell me! What is it?

- They don't think there's something they still can do for him. There's no reason to keep him on the machines since he doesn't show any improvement - Tony said

- It's over Abby. There's no other way. The doctors are going turn off the machines that support him. They're just waiting you to go in there and say your farewell. We already gave him our goodbye - Ziva said

- No! No!. He's not dead yet! They can't do this! - Abby said - They didn't say he's already dead. So he has a chance. And I told you I'm not letting go of him. I'm not going to allow this.

- Remember what I told you last week. You need to let him go. It's the best for him. You don't want to see him suffer, do you? - Gibbs said - Don't worry. He won't feel anything. He'll go away sleeping. No pain. No suffer. He'll depart peaceful.

Those words had been so painful to hear. It was too much to handle. She couldn't hold her tears from coming down her face.

- He would never hold a grudge about you. He loved you and understood your opinion when you broke up with him - Ziva said

- Be proud the man he became. From how much he grew up as an agent. Remember how many bad guys he helped to put behind the bars. How many lives he saved. Unfortunatelly we are loosing him today but he'll never be forgotten - Tony said - We have only good things to remember of him. Believe me. It's going to be hard loosing our probie. Not only for you.

- They're going to sacrifice him! He's not dead! I can't believe you're allowing this! How can you?

- There's nothing we can do - Gibbs said - He had no reaction until now. Staying on the machines for more time won't help if he has no reaction. The doctors will have to turn off the machines sooner or later.

- The lack of faith from all of you is unbearable. - Abby said angry - But that's your choice If you want to give up on him that easy. But then you are the weak ones! I'm sorry for you guys. Now if you excuse me, I'll say my goodbye.

She left them behind heading to McGee's room. She didn't know exactly what to tell him. But surely it wasn't a goodbye. It could seem the worst moment but she knew it wasn't over. A miracle was about to happen, she thought. And feeling hopeful she arrived on his room.

* * *

Chapter 3 is up! Finally. I just finished it. It got even bigger than the last one.. 7000 words. wow.

I didn't review it yet because I know I'm a bit late in update it. I should have done thursday as normal. So I'm sorry if there's a lot of mistakes. I guess it will have only some minor mistakes.

I'm so sorry for posting it a bit late. But I had the famous "writer block" problem just as McGee. I kept without being able to write for like 3 days. I had the ideas but couldn't put them on paper. This left me late with the story. Now I know what he means when he has writer's block. I'd call it as a tired mind.

About the end of last chapter. Of course I couldn't kill off McGee (yet). He's my favorite character. I just love this guy. Pity he's not real.

Thanks to: Dr. Angel Bean, Mcgiggles, hslacer, McGeeklover, beverlie4055. For your lovely reviews.

Just to let you know: the reviews are open for everyone! ( i had the option that blocked the anon reviews On. I jcorrected that).

So let me know what you think! Leave your review!  
Hope you enjoy it!


	4. Chapter 4: From the bottom of my heart

1 - I don't own NCIS or any of it's characters. Just using them as inspiration for some fanfictions.

2 - I'm NOT a native english speaker. So there may have mistakes (it certainly have). I'm sorry. My english is not 100%. But it's good. I'm trying hard to let it easy to understand what I tell.

3 - I'm not expert in medicine so I'm sorry if there is something wrong about the medical parts.

4 - Note: Most part of this chapter is an Abby's speech. Of course I couldn't put everything together. I had to put some pauses. You'll know when someone else get to speak.

* * *

As soon she entered the room she stood by his bed side and even having a lot of thing on her mind, she started to talk without minding if that would get a bit confusing.

- C'mon Timmy! Wake up. It's your last chance. You have no idea what they are about do to you. Cause if you had you'd be awake long ago. I haven't seen your family but they must be somewhere around the hospital. The doctors want to switch off the machines which are giving you support. And I was just told they were authorized to do so. So I believe that even your family doesn't think you can pull through.

- I guess I'm the only one who have faith on you. It has been a hard journey. But I kept being strong for you. All of this days I kept by your side. Because I know it's not your ending. You still have a lot of life to live. So I have to stop them from switching off the machines. But I can't do this on my own. I need you. Give us some signal that you'll be ok. What they want to do is just like sacrifice you. Please don't. Don't let them do this. They're acting hastily. They should wait longer before doing that.

- You don't deserve to die. You're a victim from that coward. It' not your time yet. So please keep holding on my friend. Do it for all the ones that love you. For me. I'm not asking too much. I want my friend back. I've been through it all until now by your side and I'll be whenever you need and want me to stay. I don't wanna anything else in return unless seeing you perfectly healthy again. I want to carry you home. And I can see this day happening.

- I know you don't have much choice but please I beg you don't give in so easily. We can win this battle. The Timmy I know would fight with all your strenght. The same strenght that I'm having right now. We almost lost Ducky so it means we can't loose you. I know Gibbs, Tony and Ziva believed in your recovery at first but you gave us some scary moments that they may have lost their little faith. And this pisses me off so much. Is like, don't they know you? I know they can see reality better than me but that isn't an excuse. I guess I'm the only one who are standing with you along this all.

- You're only on your middle 30's years old. It means you have a lot to live. You still can find a good woman for you and build a family. I'm sure you'd a great dad. Remember Fisher? My best friend's nephew who I asked you to help on Christmas two years ago. I never told you but seeing your attention towards the little boy got me confused. For a moment I tought he was your son. Weird, no? I'm not kidding. You were so sweet with him. That's why I can loose my favorite Santa. I also loved the cheek kisses we exchanged. That was a lovely day. That's why I love Christmas.

- I guess I talked too much already but I'm not even close to finish. Crazy huh? There's not much time left. So if you wanna fight for your life you need to react now. I promise to never leave your side. You can make it Tim. Help me prove them wrong. Show them that this lion's heart can make it. Prove me I'm not wrong. That I haven't stood by your side in vain. C'mon McGee! Do it. React!

Abby waited a few minutes in silence watching him. But for ther sadness nothing seemed to have changed. She then knelt by his bed and hold his hand.

- I'm not giving up on you - her voice started to get trembling as the tears came down her face - However it's not my choice. It's selfish to ask you to withstand all of this pain or whatever it may be your sequels just because of me. If it's too much to bear, it is ok. No it's not ok. Not at all. But I'll understand eventually.

- If you think it's time to let go and rest - now she was saying word by word as she begun burst into heavy tears and sobbings - I'll be ripped into pieces but I... I.. What can I do? Gibbs said something to me. And you know he is always right. About you suffering with the consequences. I don't wanna loose you. I really don't. But I don't think I can handle see you suffering.

- Like if it wasn't enough having to loose Kate, Jenny and Mike. But to lose you is the worst. If you die I know a part of me will die too. And then we are equal. I'll suffer the most with your death. And you will suffer wherever you are, seeing the mess I'll become. I'll never be the same Abby again. I'm nothing without you. My heart will be in pieces and I'll never be able to put them together again because there will be missing parts.

- But if you think there's not other way. And the best for you is to rest in peace... Oh Gosh... This is so hard... Then do as you want it. I want you healthy and not suffering. I don't know what is going to become of me but I promisse I'll feel better one day.

- Before it's all over I need to tell you somethings. First of all: thank you for everything. Everything you've been and done for me. It's just too much to be thankful for. My life wouldn't be as great as it is if I hadn't met you. Believe you make a tremendous difference. Thank you for the geeks talks, the nights out, the lunchs together, thanks for your friendship, for your protection and for being always there when I needed. And of course I could never forget: sex in my coffin. Thanks so much for that. You were awesome. Well you didn't know that that place was a coffin but I'm sure it were more fun that way. Thank you for being part of my life.

- Second: I'm so sorry. I'm sorry that I broke up with you back then. It was too soon. We weren't ready. I'm sorry for not giving it another try lately. But I guess this mistake was from both of us. It doesn't matter now. But I'm sorry for disobeying your order when I was at your apartment and opened the door when you told me not to do so. Allowing Mikel to get closer to me and sorry for having broke your typewriter. Sorry for making you taking Jethro, the dog, against your will. Sorry for taking the bus without you when I was looking for the victim's teacher. Sorry if I let you down. And I lied when I told you that Amy and McGregor couldn't get together because they were different and wrong for each other. I actually loved that even after that, you kept them both together.

- I hate myself for not trying again. Because I know that someday that would work. But it sounds stupid think about it now and regreting it only when you're like this. We should had made a move before. I know you'd do that if I had given you clues that I'd be on again for a relantionship. A serious one this time. I lost this opportunity back then however a won a special friend. I'm not ready for it to be over. Not at all. I can't accept this. It's impossible.

- Before you leave me I want you to know that I.. I love you. I've loved you all along. I'll miss you forever if you... you know... I'll be in pain for the rest of my life if you die. I wonder if life is worth without you around. I don't think I can live without you. Imagine waking up every day knowing that I will never see your face, your smile, hear your voice, your geek words anymore. I can't. I just can't. I keep dreaming everything is going to be right and you'll never go.

- From the bottom of my heart Tim. I'm too in love to let go of you. I beg you to stay. Then I can tell so you can hear how much I love you. I know I should have told you before but it's never too late.

- If the best for you is to rest in peace... Oh. Hell no! No way. Please. Time is running out. If you want my help then come back. I promisse to be here for you for everything. I'm so used having you around almost all the time that I'm not prepared for this to have an end.

- You're leaving me in a tough decision. A hinky one that I rather not have to do. Part of me, like 95%, doesn't want to lose you. But the other 5% says I need to respect if your time on this world is over. So do as you want. It's your decision. I'm afraid I can't help you much other than pray for you to stay and get better. C'mon big man. What is it going to be?

- It seems like there's no other way around, huh? I don't like this but at least don't go without knowing how grateful I'm for all the days that I was blessed by your presence. I love you so much.. so much... It's shattering my heart having to say goodbye.

- But you know what? This is not a goodbye. I'm still waiting for a miracle to happen and they do happen. But it's now or never. So c'mon make this happen.

She kept looking him but nothing seemed to happen. She then got on her feet and still holding his hand, she leaned closer to his face and with the other hand she stroked lightly his face. Following this she kissed his forehead. She kept like that longer than a normal time for a kiss. She was crying so hard that she barely realised her hand, that was holding his, was being slightly squeezed.

When she got back to just stand beside the bed was the moment she felt the small pressure that was being made on her hand. She was confused and thought it was because she was shaking while crying. She kept looking from his hand to his face. Suddenly she started smiling when she felt the pressure being made again. She couldn't believe it.

- YES! YES! YES! YES! - She was jumping of hapiness seeing what seemed to be a small reaction. She was right. He was strong and it was not over - I knew it Tim! Thank you so much for listening to me! I can see you're not giving up. I'm so relieved. But you know you need to show it to the doctors. I'll try, no better, I'll definitely persuade them into waiting more time. Let's make a deal! I'll talk them into at least a week and you can start showing them your reaction as soon as possible so them can see you're not a lost case. If it works, I promise you can ask me anything. I'll do everything you want. And when I say everything, I mean everything at all.

- I guess I'm hearing some footsteps no far away. So c'mon heart of a lion. You know how well we work together. Now it isn't any different.

It didn't take long until the door was opened by a doctor followed by a nurse. Abby caught a glimpse of his family that we're standing on the hall.

- Ms Sciuto right? I was asked to wait until you could say your goodbye to the patient. Are you done? We're about to switch off the machines. We need to hurry the procedure. - the doctor said

- To hurry? Are you nuts? What the hell are you people from this hospital thinking? Do you want to murder him? Because that's exactly what you're going to be doing if you proceed with this.

- As you can see his condition haven't got any improviment and continues severe. We haven't had almost no reaction from him and believe me when I say that we've tried everything.

- You said it well. "Almost" which is better than nothing at all. You act like he's already dead. But his eyes shows he still got reaction. What kind of doctor are you? Do you like loosing your patients this easy? It has been only three weeks and this isn't enough time for you to get to such a complex decision as it is.

- Usually we take more time but the patients in this case show more reactions than what he has showed up to now.

- I should be mad at you for not caring the way you should about your patient. Better. I'm mad. But let's get it to the point. I think he still has a chance. Just give him some more time. - Abby said

- It wouldn't change anything.

- Yes it would. Just so you know. While I was talking to him and holding his hand I'm sure I felt him squeezing my hand. A few minutes ago.

- I can see you're emotionally shaken. You could have been mistaken. Or even have imaginated this.

- No way! I didn't! And I swear I'm not lying! - she said. The doctor and the nurse looked to her with a strange look - And also I'm not a witch. So I didn't cast a spell or charm on him. I'm just telling what happened.

- This is impossible since...

-Not it isn't! I don't know how but he did. Please. I beg you. Don't switch off the machines now. Give him at least one more week. I do whatever it needs. You can send the hospital bill to me. I agree to pay for it if you give him more time.

- It's not that simple. The family needs to agree with it.

- Then I guess it won't be a problem - Abby turned her attention to his family - Do you mind if I ask for one more week? - His sister and parents waved their head negatively - See doctor? Please don't do it. Otherwise...

Abby was speaking but had to stop when suddenly his heart monitor started to beep. All of them looked to the monitor. McGee's heart, that had been beating really slow since the blast, somehow started to beat in a nomal frequency. They were all incredulous. Even Abby didn't see this one coming.

- It's not possible... - the doctor was saying while checking the monitor

- THIS! - Abby said ponting to the monitor and looking to the doctor. A smile began to grow on her face after what seemed to ages of sad moments - Or we're all crazy on this room, or I really wasn't imagining things. Which I'm sure I wasn't! He only needs some more time. He's starting to react. Just take care of him please.

- It's not much yet but we'll see what we can do.

The doctor and the nurse left the room. Abby exchanged some words with his family before heading to the waiting room. She always believed in his recovery but seeing it happening in the last minute could be a bit umbelievable. She just couldn't hide her hapiness for what had just happened.

Ziva, Tony and Gibbs were still sitting on the chair. In silence. All of them lost on their own thoughts. They could hear from afar the sound of Abbys' boots. Gibbs stood preparing himself to comfort her for what was about to happen. When she appeared there he saw that she had her eyes red from crying. And that was odd. Since she also had a big smile on her face.

- Weren't they going to switch off the machines? - Gibbs asked. She just kept smiling.

- Jesus, Abby. Let us know what happened - Tony said

- A miracle! That's what happened. The one I told you were about to see and you didn't even believed me. I always knew miracles were real. Why people still can't believe them? It's such a...

- Is he awake? - Ziva asked interrupting Abby's speak otherwise she would talk a lot without getting to the main point.

- That would be ask to much seeing his condition. I was talking with the doctor and suddenly his heart got back to the normal beat. After being weak ever since the explosion. He is finally reacting. And I swear you that while I was talking alone with him, he just squeezed my hand at a moment.

- What the doctor said about it? - Gibbs asked

- They will reassess his condition. And wait more time for his reactions. I'm a bit mad at you guys for your lack of faith on Tim. But I could never hate you. I know the lack of reaction is worring and I confess that it started to get me into despair. I just never gave up and now the whole thing is seeming to get better. After so long I'm finally feeling relieved. This has been so hard... - Abby was saying.

- Don't worry - Gibbs said hugging her - Everything is going to be ok.

The best thing about hugging Gibbs is that he always could bring her some confort. No matter the situation. It'd always make her believe that everything would be alright.

* * *

Chapter 4 is up. A little shorter than the previous 2 chapters. I guess I wrote too much on them. I decided to take it easy on this one. As you saw Abby kept holding on for him and hoping he could do the same. She expressed a bit about her feelings towards him and now he finally showed signals of improvement, small but it mean something.

Thanks for the reviews.  
Let me know what you think. Feel free to leave your review.

Hope you enjoy it.


	5. Chapter 5: Getting better

1 - I don't own NCIS or any of it's characters. Just using them as inspiration for some fanfictions.

2 - I'm NOT a native english speaker. So there may have mistakes (it certainly have). I'm sorry. My english is not 100%. But it's good. I'm trying hard to let it easy to understand what I tell.

3 - I'm not expert in medicine so I'm sorry if there is something wrong about the medical parts.

* * *

By your side

Chapter 5: Getting better

* * *

Some hours went by until Abby was given permission to see McGee again. The team left to go back to Ncis. She would be there to keep one eye on him and see how he was doing. And even if the doctors would say otherwise she was not leaving him alone. So they allowed her to spend the night there. She never caused a trouble and it was always good for the patient to have someone around.

Just like a miracle his health started to show good improvements. His heartbeat kept in the normal rate. And his blood pressure was improving as well. His health was begining to stay stable. If it kept going this way it was just matter of time until he could wake up and Abby was counting the minutes for that to happen.

Abby had been talking to McGee for a few minutes before falling asleep on the couch. She didn't realise when Gibbs came back in the room. He was heading home but decided to visit him even being late in the night.

He didn't expect to see her there once he thought she went home. But it wasn't a surprise after all. She was being brilliant in the way how she was taking care and being there for him just as she said she would be.

None of his rules was a mistake. But there was always an exception. Rule number 12 wasn't different. It was created in order to prevent embarassing situations in case if the relationships ended in the worst way. But he was sure that it would never be Abby and McGee case. Seeing both of them lying on their places made him think that they fit together. And if in the future they decide to get together he would make sure his rule wouldn't be on their way.

Gibbs got closer to where Abby was and covered her with the blanket making sure she wasn't feeling cold. Then he turned his attention to McGee.

- You don't have permission to die Timothy. You're doing great hanging on to all your pain. I'm glad to see you slowly getting better. Just keep this way kid. We're all rooting for you. And Abby, she needs you. Do this for her. She is living her life over you. In this past month everything she has done is towards you. We want to see you back to your normal life. And when this happen you better make a move on her.

Gibbs still said some words before going home. Abby was still sleeping through his presence there. She was too tired to wake up.

In the next two days she stayed in his room barely leaving it. The team would come by to make him a visit but Abby was the one that didn't want to be away for far too long.

The doctors had decided to decrease gradually the medication that was being given to him in order to see how long the patient would take to wake up and then they could better evaluate his condition. He was almost breathing on his own. His improvement in this short period of time was astonishing. It could only be explained by a miracle.

In the third day Abby woke to a beautiful sunrise view from the room's window. The hospital staff had been kind making an exception and allowing her to use their dressing room and bathroom so she could take care of her hygiene. So after brushing her teeth, putting some make up on and setting her hair into her famous pigtails she got back to his room and started to arrange her things on her travel back. She had her back turned to him.

- Today I'll have to leave again. Yes I know you don't like to be alone and for sure I rather stay with you but I have somethings to do and I have to go back to Ncis too if I still want to have my job. Gibbs was nice to let me stay with you for as long as I wanted but I guess it's better not misuse his good will.

- I have to visit sister Rosita too. I want to thank her for her prayers over you and for the collar she gave me that I put on your bed. It somehow worked and it really gave you protection. It's funny how I always talk to you about her and I have talked a lot about you to her and yet I never introduced you two. She told me once she was anxious to know you because from what she heard you seemed to her an extraordinary hearted person. Of course I couldn't agree more. You know what? That's what I'm gonna do. To put this on your list of "Things to do" when you get out of here. I'll take you to a bowling game with the nuns - Abby said focused on her thoughts.

- It seems like a good ideia. I'm sure I would enjoy it - said a weak and hoarse voice behind her

- I know! You totally would! That's why I'm planning it - Abby said without realising what just happened - Sister Rosita is awesome. I'm sure you'll love to know her. Over the years she has become such a mother to me. It'll mean a lot to me if... - she stopped talking when finally the penny has dropped.

Her eyes got wide opened realising she had heard McGee's voice. Turning around she found what she had been wanting for a long time: McGee was finally awake. She covered her mouth with her hands. She wanted to say something but the words wouldn't come out of her mouth.

McGee could feel his body in pain, he felt some dizziness and there were others things probrably but he couldn't discern at the moment. His eyesight was somehow blurry but this didn't stop him from see the look on Abby's face. She was concerned and he knew what could be running through her mind.

- How... How do you feel? Can you... Can you see me? Hear me? - she asked

- It's okay Abby. I guess I'm okay. I'm just confused - McGee said and coughed a few times - I remember starting to make my way out of the building yesterday and then everything just seemed to have gotten dark.

- Yesterday? I'm going to call the doctor to see you and you better stop talking. Your voice doesn't sound good. I'll be right back.

Abby did as she said and not longer after having left the room she got back with the doctor.

- Hello I'm doctor Michael Philipps. I'm the leader of the team who is treating you. It's good to see you better and awake after so long.

- So long? How long have I been here? I'm quite confused.

- About a month. Don't worry it's normal to be confused in your situation. It might take a while but this will get back to normal. Look, I need to make you some basic questions for you to check if you have any problems that we should be taking care of. For the start I want you to tell me your name, age and date of birth.

Abby was sitting on the couch paying attention to his answers. With all the damage possible it was a relieve to see his memory or brain wasn't affected apparently. He answered correctly all the questions the doctor had made.

- It's a big progress that you remember everything correctly - the doctor said - As I said it's normal to be confuse with the time. For you it's like you had slept in a day and woke up in the following day. Now I need to check your movements.

McGee was able to make small movements with his arms and hands. He had no problems to distinguish left from right when the doctor asked him to turn his head to the sides. When he was asked to move his legs was the moment a big problem appeared.

- I just can't move it. Why can't I move them? What is wrong with me? - McGee asked

- Can you feel your legs?

- I guess yes but there's something strange. It feels numb.

- As you remember about the blast you were thrown backward and hit hard on the ground then your spine was affected. We made an surgery to fix it but there are possibilities for sequels.

- Sequels? Does it means that I won't be able to walk again?

- Too soon to tell. But the fact you feel something is a good thing. I'll take some observations on you and talk to the other doctors. As soon as we decided our next step on your healthy I'll be back. If you need anything just call the nurse by pressing that button just beside your bed. You better keep resting. It's too soon for any kind of straining.

Before leaving his room the doctor took some notes from the heart monitor, blood pressure and some more things. McGee was left thinking about how would things be if he could never walk again. Luckly Abby didn't let him think too much on this. She got closer to him and was looking him with an affectionate look on her face. She seemed about to cry. That was strange for him since she rarely cried.

- What is it sweety? I swear you I'm feeling alright.

- You scared us so much Timmy. I almost saw you dying. Do you have any idea how painful it was for me? No! You don't! You were more worried about scaring the hell out of us! I know it's not exactly your fault, that you can't control but damn it! - Abby said - Although I must admit seeing you coming back from death and winning your own battle is so wonderful and impressive at the same time.

- I have no idea what is going on. It's so strange - McGee said - Was I that bad?

- Believe when I syay that yes, you were that bad. The doctors didn't believe on your recovery. They gave like 1% chance of surviving. You know how much Gibbs, Ziva, Tony and everyone else cares about you but just in the moment you most needed they didn't have faith on you. I got upset with this however I can't blame them. The situation was pretty ugly. I guess I was the only one who never gave up on you. There was a moment when we were told to say our goodbye because they were about to switch off the life support machine. Everyone came to say goodbye. But not me. I couldn't. I came to ask you to keep being strong and I'm glad somehow you heard my wish.

- It's hard to believe that I've being throught it all - McGee said still processing all the information he had just heard - But what about my legs? What if I can't never walk again? I love my job. I love being a field agent and if I...

- Calm down McGee. You were supposed to be dead. Be grateful that you aren't dead. And considering all the possible sequels you could have, be happy that your legs are the only problem up to now. We don't even know much about it. You can recover the movements along the time. Don't worry

- Easy for you to say. You're not trapped in a bed fearing not being able to walk again - he said and realised he was a little bit hard with her - I'm sorry. I believe it was tough for you to see me like this and having to deal with the blast aftermath and... What happened to the others? Tell me everyone is ok.

- From our team everyone is okay. We suffered some injuries but nothing too serious. There were a few casualties from people that work in other department. Duck had some major problem but he is ok now.

- How? He wasn't even in the building. What happend?

- It's a long story. He had a heart attack and as I said he is doing fine now.

- What about Dearing? Have you guys caught him?

- Another long story. He is dead. I'll tell everything eventually - Abby said - I'm glad you are getting better; After everything it's a miracle - she stroked his hand - Now get back to rest while I'll let Gibbs and everyone know that you are awake.

- I don't need rest. I've being here for one month. I want to talk you know. I guess I missed a lot of things.

- In due time you'll know. But right now your voice sounds awful. I don't even know why you're still talking. Yoiu wanna talk? Just get yourself out of this hospital bed and we'll have all the time you want to talk.

- What is wrong? Why the hinky tone?

- I'm sorry Tim. It's just that I'm so tired from almost living here in the past month. I want you to get out of here and then I'll feel better. I'm loving to see you doing fine after almost dying but I can't wait to take you home. I can't stand this anymore.

- I wish I could but I bet they won't let this happen so soon

- Yeah I know. Now get back to rest. I'll be right back

Abby called everyone to let them know about McGee. Gibbs, Tony and Ziva quickly came to visit him. Meanwhile Abby took chance and went home to take care of herself.

McGee was lying there annoyed. He hated not being able to do anything. He knew he must had been through a tough health condition but he wanted desperately to go home. He didn't know how went the last month but he was strangely feeling good for someone who just got out of coma. Not much pain, a little dizzy but it seemed just like a flu. His worries were focused on his legs. He feared what could happen. How could he get back to his life if he couldn't walk ever again?

His annoyance gave place to happiness when he saw Gibbs, Tony and Ziva getting inside the room. McGee shouldn't be talking but he didn't mind. He wanted to know about those people that he considered part of his family. The four of them talked for almost one hour. The team was glad to see him getting better. Later Ziva and Gibbs had to leave for a possible new case. Tony decided to stay a little long to make him company. The kept talking until it was time to Tony leave.

- We're all proud of you probie. For have won this fight.

- I know Tony! Everyone told me the same thing if haven't noticed. Do you know where is Abby? She told me she would be back but disappeared.

- Don't worry. Your dark princess went home - hearing Tony sayind this made him roll his eyes - She needs some rest but I bet as soon as can she will be back. Like if she could stay away from you too long.

- What do you mean?

- She barely left your side since the blast. You owe your life to her. She have been protective over you the whole time not wanting to go away from you. Nothing we told her made her change her mind. Even Gibbs couldn't make her go home. She has a strong faith and was the one who never gave up on you. She even kissed you.

- She did what? - McGee asked thinking he had misunderstood Tony - She kissed me?

- Don't get all excited yet. To be honest it was a CPR kind of kiss. She had to perform it twice if I'm not mistaken. She saved your life. She didn't care about her own injuries and went looking for you. She found you fallen between the desks. She was brave enough risking her life to save you.

- She haven't mentioned that much to me. Just the basic. She had done so much. I'll never be grateful.

- You wanna be grateful? Marry her - Tony said and McGee bursted into laugh - Why are you laughing? I mean it. I don't know what you're gonna do with your life when it get back to normal but it's a huge stupidity if you don't even consider it. And a way worst mistake you if end up marrying any other woman than not her.

- You don't know what you're talking...

- Believe me. I do. Abby had been strong for you as she would be for a friend. And she just wanna you fully recovered. I don't doubt that. But I'm not blind either. She hides her true feelings. But everyone can see that she feels something way more stronger than the "just a friendship feeling" she want us to believe. What happend or what will happen between you two it's not my business but you can't deny you still love her after all this time. It was nice from you to respect her choices when she broke up with you. But you have love written all over your face since the first time you met her. So stop fooling yourself and make a decision.

- God, did I miss that much? - McGee asked - Since when you became good at giving love related advices?

- I'm serious probie. Even Gibbs agrees. I don't know if he would let you two get away for breaking his rule, in my opinion he won't mind knowing how both can deal with the situation in case it goes wrong like it happened before, but he also agree that there are some unresolved things between you two.

- As if it's something easy to do. We tried once it went wrong. From that moment we built up this wonderful friendship we have now. I don't know if it's worth risking it all trying again. What if we screw it up again? I can't take this again. Besides we want different things. I want it serious. I guess she still would want it to be casual as I always heard her saying since the first time we met.

- You will never know if you never ask. And she might have changed her mind. Because people change their minds. Maybe after all of this...

- Give up Tony. Abby isn't like everyone. You know her pretty well. She never changes her mind on something she's convinced. Hearing the way she talks about it for years and years I'm sure she's very determined on this matter.

- As I said before it's not my business. But you and Abby will have plenty of time for talks. Because she won't leave your side so soon as long as you're still recovering. Just make sure on day you talk about it. Even if for some reason she gives you a negative response you'll be free to find any other woman without regret not knowing if you two could have had another chance.

- I never tought I'd say this but thank you for your advice - McGee said - Once in a life time they seem to be useful.

- That's what friends are for - Tony answered.

Some minutes later Tony left the hospital as Sarah, Mcgee's sister, came to visit him. She told him his parents would get there soon. At aftenoom the family was reunited and McGee couldn't express how happy he was to see his family again. Even his father, with whom he had some troubles in the past, made him feel happy.

The days went by and now a week had gone by since the day McGee had woken up. The doctors were still evaluating the problem with his leg. They made a check up on him for other things and they saw everything was perfectly fine with him.

In this period the team would come to visit him and Abby would come to spend the night at his side. She had been busy. Considering the possibility he had of having to spend some time in a wheelchair she and Gibbbs were planning some changes on his apartment. To adjust things and make it more confortable for him. Abby was somehow sure it was just a phase. That it wasn't something permanent. She could picture him walking again as soon as a proper treatment works.

On those moments when they were together on his room they would talk about a lot of things. What they always used to do since the friendship they had allowed them to talk about everything at wall. She let him know about everything that happen until the day Dearing was killed. But they never touched on subject of their friendship. McGee couldn't take what Tony had said to him from his mind. He felt he needed to know more. There were a few moments of silence and they would glance to each other and he had this urge of asking her about her feelings but he couldn't. That wasn't the right place for this. An hospital wasn't a proper place to this kind of conversasion.

It was a thursday afternoon and McGee had Ziva's and Abby's presences making him company. The israeli woman was telling him the movies references that Tony had made about him being almost dead and surviving at the end. And even one movie that there was a character that fought to stay alive for the woman he loved and how she never left his side. And that they had a happy ending. Abby and McGee blushed hearing this last one. They looked to opposite sides but they knew deep inside that situation wasn't much different from what they had being through up to now.

Luckly for them the doctor came up inside the room. He had what seemed like a good expression on his face. Way different from all the other times he came in and the news wasn't as good as they wanted.

- How are you feeling Timothy? - doctor Michael Philipps asked

- Fine. Just as in the others days before. When can I go home? I'm sick of this bed, the hospital food...

- Keep calm McGee - Ziva said - You know pretty well it's only matter of time for that happen.

- It seems like an eternity. I miss my things, my apartment and Ncis. Oh my Gosh. I miss eating my favorite food, even barbecue.

- Barbecue? Are you crazy? - Abby asked - You don't like it.

- Yes I don't. I guess as I was given a second chance I'll try new things.

- Not anytime soon. You'll need to follow a diet until your organism completely get back to normal. What may take days - the doctor said

- And I tought you were bringing the good news - McGee complained

- In fact yes. I know you must be tired with all this marathon of tests and from being taken to almost every place on this hopistal. But it was necessary and worth. Your case is considered as a miracle. You had a lot of minor problems, and some serious like almost a respiratory arrest and twice were the times you had cardiac arrest. And now you're conscious without any brain or organisms damages.

- I know. But about my legs. Why couldn't the doctors find the problem yet?

- That's what I came to tell you. We had a lot of discussions about it. It wasn't easy but we found the problem.

- Is it definitive or reversible? - McGee asked hopeful of a positive response - Will I ever be able to walk again?

The expression on the doctor's face became serious again and McGee knew this couldn't be something good.

* * *

To be continued...

* * *

Sorry for taking too long to update this. I had some serious problems with "writers block" as McGee would perfectly say. I know wherte I want to take this story but it had been hard to put the ideas on the paper.

Finaly yesterday I was able to finish this chapter. I will start today the next chapter but I think it's better no to make any promisses about when this will be up. If I have no problems then next week I'll post. But I can't promise anything.

Thank you all for your reviews.  
To Vegasdude83: Thanks for your reviews both here as in "Meant to be from the beggining". Abby was the one to sign first for him as he's family wasn't there by the time. Later when they came to visit him they took the responsability on him. It just too much detail. If I wronte things like that I'll be much longer than I want. And I agree with you. The Ncis writers should explore the bomb plot to explore a way to put them together. Being involved in a blast may make people think better on their lifes. It'd be nice to see them slowly building up a way to get together during season 10. Since the last seasons had been really a few moments os McAbby. But I hope this happen in a less dramatic and in the same time fast. Because we, fans of them, we have been waiting for too long already. This plot would be a brilliant way to do it.

Hope you all enjoyed this chapter and let me know that you think.


	6. Chapter 6: Going home

1 - I don't own NCIS or any of it's characters. Just using them as inspiration for some fanfictions.

2 - I'm NOT a native english speaker. So there may have mistakes (it certainly have). I'm sorry. My english is not 100%. But it's good. I'm trying hard to let it easy to understand what I tell.

3 - I'm not expert in medicine so I'm sorry if there is something wrong about the medical parts.

* * *

By your side

Chapter 6: Going home

* * *

Previously on Ncis:

- About my legs. Did you figured out the problem? - McGee asked

- We discussed it a lot. It wasn't easy but we found the problem.

- Is it definitive or reversible? Will I ever be able to walk again?

The expression on the doctor's face became serious again and McGee knew this couldn't be something good.

* * *

- We detected a minor spinal cord injury. It's small it was hard to get in an agreement as for the extention of the damages. The spinal cord has the function of conducting nerve impulses from parts of the body to the brain, produce and coordinate activities impulses and muscle reflexes. So any damage can affect the transmission of information that is taken to the brain. And this causes loss of sensibility on the affected zone and you could loose the movements. However in you case, you have what we call of Incomplete spinal cord injury. When the damage causes only partial loss of sensibility and you can recover your movements until 100%. That's the good news. You'll be able to walk again. But you'll need a huge effort during the treatment in which you'll have to go through a large amount of physiotherapy sessions - The doctor said

- These kind of injuries tend to be severe - McGee said - How can I have small proportion injuries when I also had my spine damaged?

- Everything about you had been rare. One of the reasons of the disagreements between the doctors is that seeing such a small damage that wasn't normal and we though we were mistaken. For better asnwers I suggest you to ask your guardian angel. He must be really powerful. Because your improvement is a big mistery.

- I'd call this a miracle. You could as well give the miracles more credit. A lot of people don't belive. But c'mon, you just saw it happening right before your eyes - Abby said

- We're all amazed with your progress. If you keep this way I have no doubts you'll fully recover. However it may take time. More than one year at least if you focus your treatment and put it in the first plan.

- I can't complain. From being almost dead to a possibility of ful recovery. It's a lot of information to handle - McGee was still confused but could feel the hapiness taking control of him.

- I told you Timmy that your life it's going to go back to normal. From the beggining I always knew it. It's amazing to know that I was right the whole time - Abby said holding his hand

- What about now? - Ziva asked - How are you going to preceed?

- We did everything we had to do already. Your health is good and none medication is needed. The physiotherapy sessions will be the only care you'll need.

- So if there's nothing else to do on me, does it means that I'll be discharged anytime soon?

- Anxious to go back home? I guess anyone in your situation would be. Don't worry, if everything go well in two days you'll be released to go home.

- In two days only? Thanks God.

- That's everything I had to tell. Do you have any question? - The doctor asked and McGee waved negatively - I need to go back but later I'll give your directions for the treatment.

- Thank you so much doctor Philipps. For the effort you and your team put on helping him - Abby said and hugged the man. He was surprised by her gesture. The normal gesture of acknowledgment was a shake of hands.

- Don't worry doctor. She loves hugging people - Ziva said and the doctor left the room and Abby went to the bathroom - Congratuations McGee. Soon you'll be out of here. You're so lucky to have Abby as your guardian angel. She never lost her faith no matter as tough the situation was. I guess this battle is so worth when you have someone like Abby, and what she means for you, with arms wide open willing to do everything to help you.

- I can't get used to the idea of having to be tied in a wheelchair. I guess that when it really hits me it's going to be a bad time for me. To have Abby helping me on these moments I'm sure it will make a big difference.

- She will be like a bullet gum stuck on your shoe. But we all will be here for anything you need.

- You mean, a bubble gum glued on my shoe. And yes I know. Being such awesome people as everyone are I know can count on you all. I'd do the same for everyone. I can't wait to be discharged.

- I can picture Tony planning a way to celebrate it - Ziva said as Abby came back - So I guess it's time for me to go, tell the others the news and leave you two alone. See you later - she nodded to Abby and left.

McGee and Abby were alone in the room. They haven't had much time for a talk about themself. They talked about a lot of other things but less about them. They knew they had to have this talk but it wasn't a proper place. As they were lost in their thoughts, which were the same, the room were filled with an awkward silence. When their eyes finaly met, McGee was the first one to smile.

- Oh, I really missed your shy smile, Timmy. I don't know what I'd do if I had lost it forever. If I could never see your smile or having your beautiful eyes staring at me again, If I could never hear your sweet voice saying the most beautiful things to me - Abby said. She was starting to sob as the first tear ran down her face - That would be the death of me too. Because I guess you became a huge part of my life and it has no meaning if you're not around. I don't think I can live without you. I keep hiding things that I shouldn't. Even hiding from myself. I'm so afraid of admitting my own feelings. The thing is that I can't hide it anymore. I've tried to avoit this feeling to not see it. But I can't. I'm sorry it took this blast and almost loosing you to realise I can't hold it to myself. You deserve to know about somethings... I'm so sorry. I should have... - McGee never thought he would ever hear Abby saying this things for him again. He was surprised since he always thought that she was past this. That she didn't feel the same way what he felt for her.

- You don't have to apologize. I've done the same mistakes. I should have talked to you long ago but I had no clue on what would be your reaction. Maybe you just saw me like a best friend and nothing more and I was expecting for something that I couldn't have anymore. It'd be so painful if something ever happen to me and you never get to know what I really wanted to say. The truth that we both know we have been hiding from each other over those years - McGee said and made an gesture for Abby to get closer. She put the chair near his bed and he touched her face - Don't worry Abby. We'll have a lot of chances to talk this. Not now. And not that I don't want to talk about it because I do. But not in a hospital. Just give some time for me to settle to this new condition and everything else. I promise you we'll have this talk - with his hand he pulled gently her face a bit closer to him and with some effort to control his support on the bed he kissed her cheek.

- I know and yes, this is not the right moment for this. But I just thought you should know this bit at least.

- I understand. Just like the Port to Port killer when Mike Franks died. I was afraid that something could happen to you. It happened suddenly and I wasn't prepared to tell you what I really wanted and I barely could finish the phrase. However I'm sure you understood me back then just as I know what you meant a few minutes ago.

- I was always curious to know the rest of what you were saying.

- I don't really know. I mean there were so many things running in my mind and you know sometimes words are not necessary, just a look means more then a lot of words put together - he could see she still wanted to know - If something ever happen to you I'd never be okay again, I'd never be able to keep going without you. I'd die as well. I know being a federal agent can be dangerous at sometimes. And unfortunatelly we lose people who is close to us. It's a risk we take. Kate, Jenny, Mike and many others who died like Agent Cassidy. Their deaths were hard for us. And for me if something happen with you I won't have reasons to live anymore.

- Funny how we never knew what to say or we never had the courage but now it seems easy.

- The truth tend to make things easier - McGee said cleaning the last trace of tear from her face - So what do you have in mind? How are things going out there?

- I wanted so much to hug you Tim. But I believe it would end up keeping you here on the hospital for some more weeks - Abby said laughing

- Oh God. No! I love your hugs but hate hospitals. Guess I can wait until we get home

- Gibbs is helping me with some changes in your apartment.

- What are you doing to my apartment?

- Relax. We're just adapting it for you. I also have rented a wheelchair for you.

- Rented? They rent those things?

- It's hard to find a place who does this. But I found because I don't wanna buy a wheelchair for you. I don't wanna see you for so long in a wheelchair. And when you get able to walk without needing it ever again I'l return it. I don't want to keep it. When you're done I don't want to look back to what you have been through on the next months and probably years since we know it's gonna be hard. But I'll be always here for help. Just please promise me that you will do your best in the physiotherapy sessions.

- I'll try but I'm sure of one thing. Having you by my side will make things better for me. Thanks for everything you've done for me. For saving my life. You had always been such a wonderful person and I willl never be grateful enough.

- You don't need to thank me. Just get better and this will be enough.

After this they stayed in silence. McGee was stroking her hand and Abby would glance at him sometimes and they would end up exchanging a smile. They stayed like this for a little while before they started to talk about random things.

Later in that night the doctors finaly allowed him to get off his bed. They helped him to sit in one of the hospital wheelchairs. Abby was keen to take him for a walk. She was so happy about doing this that he had to remember her they were at the hospital on their way to the small garden.

They kept enjoying the starry night. McGee missed so much the sweet smell of the trees and leaves. The nature smells delight him. As Abby talked about her lab being still in maintenance and that she had new babies machines he couldn't avoid his heart of almost melt at her smile. How could there be any possibility of him not being able to see it again? It would be so painful even that he wouldn't feel if he had been dead by the blast.

Abby was relieved to see McGee having some fun after so long. It was just a walk in the garden but he was really happy doing this. Going far from the bed he had been lying for ages. She knew he'd probably look at simple things like that and see it in other ways. It was normal for people who had an almost death experience.

On the morning scheduled as his discharge from the hospital McGee woke up extremely happy. It felt so good to finally being close to go home. No longer after that Abby came into the room carrying his breakfast on a tray. He couldn't tell why but she looked even more beautiful then usual.

- Wow. This is wonderful - he said looking to the breakfast tray - I don't even know if I deserve such special treatment.

- Of course you do. I'm finally taking you home today. This deserves something special. I made it by myself. With things the doctors allowed me to give you. I hope you like it.

- Are you kidding me? How could I don't like something that comes from you? Besides, I could get used to have such an amazing woman like you bringing me breakfast every day.

- You wish - she said with her sweet smile - But you know, you just need to ask me the proper question.

- Don't tease me. You know I'd do it without thinking twice - McGee said. They looked to each other longer than normal then Abby looked away.

- Enjoy your breakfast while I tidy the things so we can leave the hospital in a few hours.

It had just passed the lunch time when the doctor came in with the discharge authorization papers in hands.

- Congratulation McGee - the doctor Philipps said - Freedom waits for you. You're officially released from the hospital.

- Thank you so much for everything you have done to make possible for me to leave the hospital by the front door. And not for back door and in a coffin. Thanks to all of your team as well for taking care of me and letting me healthy again. I imagine it was tough since I was practically a lost case.

- You're welcome. However it's our duty to do this. Unfortunatelly It's not always possible to help everybody but we do our best. There was a moment when there was nothing we could do for you since we had no response from you. Sometimes the pacient counts too in a successful recover. That's your case. It wasn't all about the medical part. Suddenly you started to react as we wanted and it helped. It's so grateful for a doctor to see his pacient have this huge health improvement.

- Thank you anyway - McGee said greeting the doctor with a handshake.

- Right, I have also some instructions written on this paper for you. It's about some medicines and the physioterapy - the doctor said some more things about the intructions - Your girlfriend is right. Miracles really happen.

- Actually I'm not his girlfriend. We're just friends - Abby said trying to not sound impolite once she was tired of restating this a lot to times

- I'm sorry. My bad. I could swear you were envolved in a relationship. The way you acted towards him all this time made me think this. I won't hold you anymore here. You can go. If you need help to get in the car there are some people at the reception exit who can help you. Just ask them.

They said goodbye to the doctor and Abby started to guide his wheelchair to the parking lot. She was walking fast, almost running when McGee called her atention.

- Abby! Abby! Slow down.

- Why? Don't you wanna get home as soon as you can?

- Yes. Preferably alive. And not arrested for running over someone with the wheelchair either.

- C'mon Tim. You know how good are my driving skills. And by the way, I'm driving your car.

- My car? Oh my God. What have you done to it? Please tell me you didn't hit anything when you drove him - McGee asked and this earned him a head slap - Ouch. What was that for?

- For confusing me with Ziva. She could have hit something not me. Although I must admit that even having a crazy driving style, she is good.

- You said this because you never have to ride the Ncis truck when she drives.

- It works doesn't it? You always get in the crime scene in time. Never late. And for what I know it was only once with you that she drove like a really crazy ninja and that was because she was mad at you and your book Deep Six.

- Yeah but she does that up these days.

- Now is probably Tony's fault. - Abby said - You don't fit in my car in this condition so I had to pick up yours. Unless you want me to do just like Mr Bean and tie your wheelchair to the top of my car just like he tied his armchair. I don't know why people laugh at it. I mean it may actually be fun. And it's not a bad ideia at all.

- Abby! Stop. Just take me home safely. That's enough. I thought Gibbs would come to pick me too. Why isn't him here?

- Well.. He is... busy I guess - she lied. She knew what he was doing but couldn't tell - No. It's not a guess. I'm sure he's busy. There's a crazy case that appeared yesterday. They are wourking hard on it.

- Then why you're not in your lab checking the evidences?

- Because I'm here with you, duh. And there's no evidence yet. I told you it's a crazy case.

- Alright then - McGee was a bit disappointed for not having the team with him in this important moment for him. But he knew the ups and downs of his work and understood the situation.

- Don't get upset Timmy. They will visit you as soon as they can - she assured him. But in reality they had other plan. - Now oyu better use this for a while - she handled him an object.

- Sunglasses? For what?

- Trust me. If you go out there without protection, the sun light will make your eyes burn.

Abby asked someone to help her on sitting McGee in the front seat. He felt so uncomfortable by being so dependent of someone to do things. And this was only the begining of this nightmare. He was so used to be independent since an early age. And now being back to this dependency, and in this case in a worst way, seemed bad.

In the drive to his apartment he kept thinking on it. He knew even hating how he was now he should be grateful since for many people this condition was irreversible while there was still possibility for his recovery. Thinking about how long it could take was not nice. He loved being a field agent. But what if it take so long. What if one day he gets to walk again but not be able to do what he loves. To chase bad guys. To help the team not only with his computer skills but in the field.

While Abby drove, she sometimes threw some glances at him. Some minutes ago he was happy for leaving the hospital. Now she could see he was a bit sad. Maybe reality was starting to making sense for him. When stopped in the traffic light, she could see better his expression when he turned to look at her. He smiled for a little while and then turned back to look through the window. She knew his smile wasn't truthful. He was trying to disguise his sadness. It could maybe work for everyone esle. But not for her. She knew him pretty well to distinguish when what he wanted to make us believe wasn't really the way he felt. She could talk to him now but she decided to let him rest for now.

When they reached their destination Abby helped him to sit in the wheel chair again. It was hard do this but she managed. She left the bags on the trunk to be taken later. As McGee started to guide the wheelchair on his own Abby took her cellphone out of her purse.

- Oh. I have a missed call - She lied and dialed Gibbs number - Hi Gibbs... Yes... Is everything ready?... Now?.. I'm almost done here... Alright. I'm coming - she turned off the call

- Duty is calling for you? - McGee asked when they arrived at the elevador.

- Uh, yes. Yes. They found some evidences I need to run.

- Why do I have the impression you're lying?

- Lying? No. No - Abby felt the need to change the subject since he was starting to mistrust her - So. We hadn't lunch yet. What do you want me to do for dinner?

- Anything. I'm so sick of the hospital soups. Anything better than that is enough for me.

- I'll see what I can do - she said and then they were in front of his door - OH. I just remembered that I forgot something in the car. Here's your key. Go inside while I go there. I'll be right - Abby went to the staircase but never really went down to the parking.

He was surprised how suddenly she ran quickly back there. He could bet it was not what she was going to do at first. He opened the door and the place was dark as it was dusk so he needed to switch on the light. That's what he did and what he saw gave him a fright.

- Surprise! - everyone said. Even Abby who now was behind him.

There was a big banner with the words: "Welcome home Probie". There were also some others decorations too. His apartment looked like a place for parties. In the conter there were some food and drinks. He was staring at all the people he loved. Gibbs, Tony, Ziva, Ducky, Jimmy and even his family.

- I can't believe you totally fooled me Abby. - McGee said when she put on han on his shoulder - I should have seen this coming.

- C'mon McGee. Do you really thought we wouldn't throw a party for you? - Tony asked - We wouldn't be friends if we didn't make this. Let's celebrate having you back.

- It's so good to see all of you here. It means a lot to me to be able to count on you guys. Sarah, Mom and you too Dad. Thank you. Thanks to all of you for this surprise. I loved it.

The apartment looked small for the amount of people that were there. Nobodry seemed to care. Everyone was enjoying this mini party. McGee was surprised at first but after some time he was there talking to everyone and enjoying it as well.

As it was staring to get closer to 9pm they started to leave for their homes. His family was the last one to go. His dad and him talked before at the party and for McGee it was so nice that he doesn't tried to push things, as they had some past issues. He was feeling happy for having all this support and his family around. But all of that didn't make reality seem better. When there were only him and Abby there, it was hard not to remember that.

They had just finished dinner, Mcgee gave her a small smile and guided himself to the bathroom. By now he was almost begging for a nice bath. When he entered there he saw there were new items for wheelchair uses. Just as his apartment had changes with some facilities for him as well. Not longer after he got in Abby came inside.

- What do you think you're doing here alone? - she asked

- I want to take a shower.

- How do you plan moving to the bathtub by yourself?

- I can take care of myself. I'll find a way.

- You need help. That's why I'm here.

- Ok. I take your help. But not now. - McGee said - I don't want to depend on you for everything.

- Look you need help. You can't deny it. Let me help you. Don't worry. It's gonna be like this everyday. But at the beggining you'll need my help. Not only mine but the others too. They will want to help you somehow.

- I swear I can get by on my own - he said but seeing her putting her hand on her waist, he knew it was better not to contradict her - Alright. But Abby this is so embarassing.

- Do you think me helping you with your bath is embarassing? - she asked laughing and with a big smile she said - Well, I'll just call Tony then.

- Please don't make things get worse.

- See. I'm the best option for it. You need help at least on the first days. So you don't need to feel embarassed about it. Besides, I know pretty well what is underneath your clothes. I had already undressed you as well. You have no reason to be embarassed.

- Abby! Stop it. That was so much long ago.

- Relax Timmy. I'll help you with respect. If you want just tell me to close my eyes and I'll do. But you can't do it alone. Because at the end you're not gonna get to do this. And I bet you'll ask for help. It's just waste of time try to do this on your own.

- Ok then. Better you than Tony to help me with this - McGee said - I just remembered that this bathtube fits two people in. Why don't you join me? And I'll stop complaining about how embarassing this is.

- McGee! And I was thinking you hated hospital. Are you trying to get back there? Want me to send you there again? Invitations like that make me wanna put you in bed.

- Since you're already about to give me a bath then it wouldn't be a bad ideia to put me in bed.

- In a hospital bed I mean. Honestly, did they drugged you? Or the medication they gave you is causing some side effects? You look like Tony with this invitation.

- It's just a joke. But seriously I don't see any problem at sharing the bathtube with you.

- Neither do I. But not today. Let's just do it soon. It's almost sleep time - Abby said starting to help him take off his clothes. He could manage to take off the upper body clothes, but the lower body was a problem.

While he took shower Abby was preparing the couch for her to sleep on there. When he was ready he called her and she helped him to get out of the bath, changing clothes and taking him to lie on the bed.

- I guess we're done for today. Time for rest. It has been a long day - Abby said

- Are you sure you want to sleep on the couch?

- That's no problem. It's confortable. So, before I go I just want to know how you're feeling. Are you alright?

- I'm fine Abby. - McGee said. It was a lie because he wasn't ok at all. And he knew by her expression that she didn't believe on it. - Get some rest. Don't worry, I'm fine - he finished trying to give her a smile

- Look I understand you may not want the others to be worried about you - She said walking from the bedroom's door to sit by his side on the bed - I noticed how you smiled to people when asked about how you felt. It's the same you're giving me now. A fake smile. I hate it.

- Sorry. I thought that just like the others you would believe it and let it go.

- The others may have believed but not me. Tim, I can read you without even needing a polygraph machine. So please don't lie to me. - Abby said and lay beside him. She held his face on her hands making sure he was looking into her eyes - You're feeling hurt. And this isn't a question. You know you don't have to hide it from me. After all, I can see it even if you try to hide. You're a strong man but even the strongest ones has their weakness moment.

- Nobody needs to see it. I don't want to get in their way with my problems.

- They care about you. They want your welfare. It's your option if you want them out of it. But you must know I'll insist. Against your will if it's the case. So be honest to me.

- I've always been honest to you. I didn't mean to lie to you a few minutes ago. I just thought you didn't need to know what I'm truly feeling.

- It's worse if you keep it for yourself. Sometimes open up your heart helps. Whenever you need to talk, don't be afraid of showing when you're feeling down.

- It's not a big deal. It's just some scary thoughts running through my mind - McGee said - Nothing worth to talk about this late on night.

- Alright. I don't mind if what you want the others to believe it's not the truth. However, you better not hide things from me. You never succeeds doing it. Sooner or later I'll always know the truth.

- I'll try not to hide it. You don't need to be so worried about me. I'll be alright eventually.

- I know I actually can't promise that since it's not in my hands, but this will work out and everything will be back to normal. I can feel it. I know you'll walk again. It's a long road you have to take but you're not alone. We're in this together - she said and kissed his forehead - Now good night because I'm off to sleep - she was about to get up when he held her arm.

- Stay. - he asked - I don't think you mind us sharing a bed, do you?

- Not at all. But just for tonight.

- Thanks for being here for me.

- You're welcome Tim. Good night.

- Good night Abby - he said and he kissed her cheek before going to sleep.

Even knowing we would probably have some nightmares on his sleep, it didn't teke long for him to fall asleep. He was glad to be home. Despite being a bit upset he knew he was lucky to be alive after all. But he just couldn't get along with his legs problem. He could see this was going to be a tortuous time for him. It could take too long until the day he could walk again. And this is, if he would ever walk again. Even people saying he would, sometimes he doubted.

Abby also didn't take long to fall sleep. But she watched him sleep for a few minutes. She knew that at some point, things could get ugly when for some reason he feel frustated by the progress of the physioterapy. It would take a lot of time and the progress is slow until the results start to appear. And she knew people usually never has enough patience in those situation. She feared a bit what could be his behavior if this happened but she would be there to distract him. She would only leave his side against her will if he asked her to leave. She would give him sometime and then she would go back to help him eventually.

* * *

Chapter 6 is up. I did it! In time. I could manage write the chapter within one week even being hard sometimes to write some parts.

I tried to play with a "Zivaism" in there but I'm sorry with it didn't work but I hope you understand.  
And I made a little reference to Mr Bean played by Rowan Atkinson. I hope you know what I metioned. It's old but I believe it was funny sometime back then. In case you don't remember, to see the scene search for "Mr Bean driving on roof of car". I can't post links here. Abby's red car (sorry I don't know the name of her car) is small, so if McGee wanted her to use her car then I guess he would only be able to go on the roof.

It's so good after so long to write McGee going back home and feeling better compared with the way he was shortly after the blast. He still have to face his legs' problems but it's so small comparing to almost die.

So this new phase is complicated and as you know it takes time. So I can't write it day by day, or week by week. Otherwise I will never finish this story. So from the next chapter on I'll skip some time as the scenes go on. But you'll know. Counting the blast was in the middle of May then in the next chapter we are about to get to July.

Thanks for the reviews. I hope you like the chapter and let me know what you think about it.


	7. Chapter 7: Frustration

1 - I don't own NCIS or any of it's characters. Just using them as inspiration for some fanfictions.

2 - I'm NOT a native english speaker. So there may have mistakes (it certainly have). I'm sorry. My english is not 100%. But it's good. I'm trying hard to let it easy to understand what I tell.

3 - I'm not expert in medicine so I'm sorry if there is something wrong about the medical parts.

* * *

By your side

Chapter 7: Frustration

* * *

The doctors advised him to stay in rest for at least three weeks. Of course McGee only stayed in rest for a week. It had being so boring not being able to do almost anything. He started to go out for a walk with Abby every morning before she left to Ncis. Wherever they would go people kept looking at him. Like there was something way more wrong with him. Like he were from some other planet. When in reality the only difference was the wheelchair. And his neighbors were the worst part. Because they not only looked him differently but they also kept doing questions on what happened. It was bothering him a lot. Not wanting to be rude he would tell a small version to what happened. 'Damn it! Why people have to be so curious?" he used to think.

Abby didn't want to leave him fearing he could attempt something bad against his own life in case if he become depressed by his new condition. He didn't realised it but she heard him grumbling about being tied to a wheelchair a few nights right before sleep. He asked her to sleep beside him again but she choose to sleep on the couch on the following nights. Maybe he thought she was already sleep and then stared to talk and complaing with himself. She couldn't help but hear some parts. Knowing him as she did, Abby doubted he would get to the point of attempting something but she still couldn't avoid fearing it. He managed to convince her he'd be fine while she went to work. He didn't wanted her to have problems at work because of him.

He was given three months of leave of absence from work at first. But he knew as soon as he could he would go back to his desk. He wouldn't stand three months home. In the second week after his release from the hospital he started his physioterapy sessions. If he could he'd spend the whole day there and make a fast progress. However he was told that rushing something so serious like this won't work. Each step should be taken in due time. To rush it, not only wouldn't work as it could also even worsen the situation. So he took all the afternoons for the sessions. Even in the weekends.

In the first month (July) they were focusing on working his muscles strenght. It had been a total boredom for him. He couldn't see any improvement, even with the physiotherapists saying he was progressing slowly but in the right time. At least Abby was almost always there with him. She was always able to encourage him whenever he felt dispirited. She always could cheer him up. There were days when she couldn't go along with him during the sessions due to work then someone else would replace her. Gibbs, Tony and Ziva went with him at least once. And when they were to busy with a case then Sarah, his sister, helped him.

Abby knew how those sessions could be hard for him to take. She was there to distract him from his pain, the strain he needed to make and trying to avoid him getting disapointed. Sometimes it worked. And in other times she knew he was still hiding how he felt even though she asked him to don't hide anything. When this hapenned he used to get quiet for a long time. He would get upset, frustrated and even angry. Spending more and more time with him made her take his apartment as some kind of home. At the first days she slept in the couch. Realising she would spend many more days there she gave up and accepted his invitation to share his bed. The couch was unconfortable for someone to sleep for many nights in a row. And she sure wouldn't go back to her apartment just for sleep.

When August came McGee had rescheduled his sessions for the night time. Because he planned on go back to work since he couldn't stand being home for too long. Abby asked him to wait more before going back but didn't want wait any longer. When talking to Vance, the director recommend him the same as Abby. To be patient and come back in the right time. McGee doesn't agreed and asked to be back on the team. After some minutes they got into a agreement. The director put him in internal work. He would help Gibb's team only using his computer skills. It was the only way, anyway. But at least he wouldn't feel useless.

He was welcomed by everyone and felt happy to be there again. Not totally happy because he knew he wouldn't be able to help them as he used to do but at least he could help them. He loved computer related things and when he looked back then to when he was younger if someone had told him he'd become a field agent he wouldn't believe in this person. But now that it was reality he couldn't see himself out of the field work. What he loved the most was to be able to give families whose lifes had been ruined by violence some peace and confort, whenever they arrested the perpetrators. Avoiding at times others possible murders when they were able to be a step ahead of the bad guy.

As the days went on the physiotherapy seemed to be taking effect. In the last days they started to work on the part of body balance. McGee was being able to do more things on his own and be less dependent from others. He managed to find a way to better support his body for whenever he had to move from his wheelchair to other places, like bed and etc.

It was now getting to the end of October, he was about to get in his fourth month of physiotheraphy. Although he was finally seeing some progress in the sessions, the last two weeks had been a disaster for him. Nothing he did seemed to work. It had been painful, stressful and tiresome. He got quite angry at it. Even Abby was caught in the crossfire of his angry.

And Abby, knowing since the beggining that he could get really mad when things didn't work, she didn't care about things he said. It was hard for him and she was sure he wouldn't say these bad things in his normal condition, when he was calm as he always were. But one day things got pretty complicated.

When working with the team at the bullpen, he would had a sad look on his face whenever the team left for field work. Dorneget was replacing him. Despite being a bit clumsy he was doing a good job.

McGee spend his time there between his desk when the team where at the office and when he was left alone he would go to Abby's lab. He had been spending a lot of time with her there. Before the blast, his trips to her lab had been only a few times for the cases. It had been so long since the last time he had spent a lot of time there as he used before when they had time to talk not only about the cases but also some random things.

It was a thuesday night, the beggining of the night actually, and the team was about to leave to arrest a suspect. It had been a complicated case. Jane Phelps, a petty officer first class, and her 8 years-old daughter were found dead in their house. Jane was divorced but was about to marry a guy named Roger. Through their invastigation they found out this guy was using an alias. That he was deceiving her into a fake relationship. He got her to say yes to him when he asked her in marriage. His real intention was to stole the money she kept in a bank account. But somehow Jane found out his real intention and he killed her and her daughter. The guy's real name was Ethan and he was an outlaw from justice. He was wanted for two other murders. He had been running away and Gibbs' team worked to find his location. McGee managed to find the adress of a parent where they had clues that it was the place he was hiding for now.

While the team was getting ready for action Gibbs told McGee to go home. That he had done a good job. Gibbs knew he was going to refuse but made Abby take him home. McGee had being quite stressed at work and he noted this. He was always told by Abby about his physios sessions and he knew it hadn't been easy lately. What he could do he did, and helped them, but from now on there was nothing else he could do. McGee was displeased but had no option other than go home.

While Abby drove, McGee didn't know why but he was having a bad feeling about this field mission. Something felt wrong but he couldn't tell what it was. Abby noticed that he looked worried, she was a bit too, but he was way quiet. Getting home he went for a bath while Abby made something for dinner.

It was two hours later after they left for home. Now they were sitting at the table having their dinner. Actually McGee was barely touching his food.

- Not hungry? - Abby asked when pushed his dish away.

- I'm gonna call Gibbs. I asked him to call and let us know how things went. If they got the guy. Why haven't him called yet? It has gone a while and nothing? I wonder what happened.

- Don't worry. They must have caught the guy and Gibbs is probably interrogating him by now - Abby said pulling the dish towards him - Eat. You need it. And I bet if Gibbs could, he would make justice with his own hands. For what he did to these woman and her daughter.

- I can't. I have to call him. There's this bad feeling running throught my head and not having news isn't helping - he was about to wheel his way to the couch that was beside a small table where he had left his cellphone

- No. Stay here - Abby said getting up to pick up her cellphone - I'll call him.

- Just bring me my phone and I'll talk to him.

- I do it - she dialed Gibbs number and after it ring three times he answered - Hi Gibbs. I'm calling to know how things went. McGee practically forced me into do it. No, I'm just kidding. He's worried about something, he had been acting weirdly since we left Ncis, thinks something went wrong. Not that I'm not worried about you guys because I'm always worried whenever you go on a field assignment. But I don't believe... - she was talking fast but was interrupted by Gibbs - What?... What happened?... How is... Wasn't the situation under control?... Son of a... You arrested him, right?... I don't like to tell this, but under the circunstances, it's better this way... Where are you at... We're coming... No, we have to see.. Alright. Call as soon as you get any news...

Seeing her on the phone made him sure that something went wrong. He was afraid what it could have been. When Abby turned off the call she leaned her back against the counter and kept looking to the cellphone in her hand.

- What is it? - McGee asked - Who?

- The guy fought back and then there was a shootout. He is dead but he shot Tony before dying.

- How is Tony? - fear was taking control of him - He isn't.. is he?

- He was shot on the abdomen. Luckly he was wearing the bullet proof vest. It reduced the impact. He's bruised but nothing serious. He has this habit of overact when showing pain sometimes but I give him that one. He'll be kept overnight just for precaution.

- I should be there with them - McGe said after a few silent minutes - I told I didn't want to go home. And now Tony is shot.

- Tim, there's nothing you could have done to help him.

- I should somehow have went with them. To help them. It feels horrible to hear the news and that I couldn't do anything for them.

- What do you expected? Who in their right mind would allow you to go along them? What could you possible do being tied to the wheelchair?

- I don't know. But definetely being there would make me feel better. Here I feel useless. People who I see as my family is in danger and I can't help them when they need the most. I can't put up with this. It's unacceptable.

- You know the risks of your job. Nobody could foresee they'd face an idiot and be in a shootout. And if you were there you'll be dead.

- Better dead and with a clear conscience knowing that I did something for them than having my butt stuck on this chair and not be able to go on their defence - McGee said wheeling himself to go closer the couch. She followed him.

- Tony is ok. He has only a scratch and maybe a wounded pride for taking a shot. Other than that he's fine. Just as the others are ok too. If you were there in this condition you could had muddled them. And not helped.

- So this is what you think? That being like this, I'm a obstacle on everybody's way?

- This isn't what I said. Don't put words on my mouth.

- I bet it'd be easier if I wasn't around anymore. Easier for everyone. You coud proceed with your lifes without having to worry about someone who can barely do something on his own. And I wouldn't be feeling down for becoming an useless who can't help his friends when they need.

- Have you gone nuts? - Abby asked taken aback by what he said - This is not true. You know how much everyone cares about you.

- I can't take this! It has been four tedious months up to now and I see no progress. None at all. I can't put my feet on the floor and stand up on my own. I can't walk. And by the way this is going, it'll take too long. A time that I don't want to wait for. And this is, If I ever get to walk again. I wanna my normal life back and if I can't have like it was before then I rather not live anymore. You should've let the doctors switch off the machines, back then.

- You wanted to be dead? Is that what you're saying?

- You should've left me die! - McGee yelled at her - If I can't have a normal life, if I can do things I like and if I can't work as before, then why I'm still alive?

- You don't know what you're talking about. I understand you're frustrated with the whole situation. I can imagine how you must be feeling however... - she was saying but he interrupted her

- No! You can't! You have no ideia what it's like to be in my situation - McGee said angry. She would never know it, how could she said she understood what he was feeling? - Because if you did you wouldn't have saved me back then. You shouldn't have. You didn't want to suffer but you want to see me suffering? If you had lost me you'd be the one suffering and apparently you prefer to see me suffering with the consequences rather then let me go and rest and peace. So you don't need to experience all this anguish. Why didn't you let me die? Why have you saved me? It would have been the best for both of us. Even not being what we wanted, things would be easy thereafter. That easy.

- Easy? Things would be easy? Yeah, it would be easy to watch you die right before my eyes - she said with a sarcasm tone on her voice while some tears started streaming down her face - Easy to see my best friend die. Easy to see someone who means everything to me dying. Easy to see the man I love dying and not do anything to save him. Easy - there were a few minutes of silence and then she talked again - You're out of your mind McGee. And so you know: I don't regret my choice. I'd do everything again if I had to. Deal with it.

- You should have let me die! - he yelled again.

McGee watched as she headed to his bedroom and after one or two minutes of silence he heard her start sobbing. It surely hurted him. Made him feel even worse than he already was. But he wouldn't go back over what he had said.

Abby knew things could get worse sometime. But she never imagined it could get to the point of him wishing to be dead. Gibbs was right. As always. What was good for her wasn't good for him. Was she being selfish? Wanting to see him alive and not having to suffer because of him. Leaving all the suffering part for him to face with the blast aftermath and his health problems.

She got up to pack somethings and go home for the night. He wasn't thinking straight an she thought it was better for him to have some time alone. Then she heard his voice again.

- You wanted me to stop hiding what I'm really feeling, don't you? This is the truth! Why does it disturbs you? I wish I was dead. I'm sick of this. I don't know if I can't take it - he said angrily and on impulse tried to get out of the chair.

It didn't worked and the wheelchair toppled over and he fell on the floor near the couch. Abby heard the noise. She was totaly upset with what he had said but she knew she couldn't not help him. After all she promissed to help him. It didn't matter if it was in a good or bad moment.

She headed back to him and found him fallen closer to the couch. She moved away wheelchair and sat beside him. On the ground with her back leaned on the bottom of the couch. When he sat she could see tears on his eyes.

- Why this? What did I do to deserve this? I just can't take it anymore. It's not fair.

Abby hugged him and put his head closer to her chest. He was crying on her lap. She hugged him tighter and gave some kisses on the top of his head.

- Keep calm honey. One day all of this suffering will be rewarded. You'll see. It's okay to cry. It helps relieve the pain and the bad feelings. Just hold on for now.

They kept themselves on that position, hugging each other with tear in their eyes, until they fell asleep on this way. After sometime Abby woke up and helped McGee make his way to his bed. She came back to sleep on the couch. It'd be better for both to sleep alone on this night. Even knowing that they would probably have nightmares about all that happened.

* * *

Chapter 7 is up. Sooner than expected. I know I've made you wait a lot before posting the one of the last chapters. So I'm posting this sooner than normal.

This last part was a bit heartbreaking to write. McGee would never have talked to her like this under normal conditions. But you must understand he's feeling a bit depressed by everything that has been happening since the blast. So at some point his frustration would mess things up.

And poor Abby. She's just trying to help. And hearing him saying all of this was so painful. She never really imagined that he would rather have died. And unlike to what he thinks, he's not the only one suffering. She is also suffering seeing that he's not okay.

So what did you think of this chapter? Let me know.  
I hope you like it.


	8. Chapter 8: A special Christmas

1 - I don't own NCIS or any of it's characters. Just using them as inspiration for some fanfictions.

2 - I'm NOT a native english speaker. So there may have mistakes (it certainly have). I'm sorry. My english is not 100%. But it's good. I'm trying hard to let it easy to understand what I tell.

3 - I'm not expert in medicine so I'm sorry if there is something wrong about the medical parts.

* * *

By your side

Chapter 8: A special Christmas

* * *

On the next morning Abby woke up sooner than the usual, took a quick shower and headed to her apartment before going to Ncis. Before leaving she left a note on his bedside table.

_Tim._

_I'm sorry but I need to go. I guess you might enjoy some time alone. I'll ask someone to pick you up. Maybe Ziva can take you to visit Tony in the hospital. And no. Making you ride with her isn't a punishment for last night. She's the only option left. See you later. _

_Abby._

Then after doing this she left. McGee woke up at the sound of the door being closed. He looked for her but she wasn't there. Rubbing his eyes he noticed the folded paper over his bedside table. He took and read. The memories from last night came in his mind along with a headache. Being already a lot frustrated with his life and problems, hearing the news on Tony and the fact he couldn't help was the culmination for him to be overtaken by anger. He knew his words were stupid. We'd never want to die. But when you're angry you talk things you shouldn't. And it hurt him the most making Abby cry. He hated him for that. He needed to apologize. But would understand if even after he apologize to her, she gets still mad at him. She is right. She has been helping him a lot and he had just hurt her feelings.

Abby was being able to hold back her tears but she felt really sad with what happened. She knew she couldn't blame him. It had been really tough for him. But it shocked her to hear his words. That he wanted to be dead instead of being stuck in the wheelchair. They would need to fix this as soon as possible or this would become too awkward for both of them. In a normal condition she would get really mad at him for underestimate her feelings. How could he think she wasn't being affected by the whole situation. But this would be an exception in this case. Since, in first place, in normal condition he would never say anything like that or anything to hurt her. In normal condition he woudn't be in a wheelchair.

Ziva was nice enough to help Abby without making questions even finding it strange the fact that Abby wasn't driving him as she did everytime. Ziva picked him up and they headed to the hospital. Where they stayed for while until Tony was discharged. Even having been shot his wound wasn't severe. Just some bruises and that's all. He was told to go home but he went with Ziva and McGee to the office.

They used to have lunch together, actually they were used to do almost everything together lately, but today it was different. The afternoon went by fast. Abby was working in some evidences. She heard the elevator stopping at the lab floor and saw Gibbs getting in there.

- Right in time Gibbs. As always - she said trying to smile to him. But today there was nothing to smile at. Her smile was sad and Gibbs seemed to notice it - Won't you never tell your secret? What magic do you do? You never fail to get here in time when I get new results.

- What do you have for me?

- It's the stained shirt you found near the victm's body. I've identified the stain composition. It's made of chemical residues... - While Abby was explaining her findings, Gibbs watched her. She didn't seemed as cheerful as she always used to be. And as he had seen McGee in the bullpen, looking as sorrowful as she looked too, he thought something was wrong.

- Ok. Thanks - He said. He wondered for a little while if he should get into McGee and Abby personal lifes. Normally he wouldn't. But he needed to know if everythings was alright - Can I ask you a question Abs?

- Sure you can. Ask.

- As long as everything is ok I don't have the right to ask about what goes on between you and McGee. But I can see both of you are feeling down. And I noticed you two haven't seen each other today at work up to now. Is there something wrong?

- Oh. This. It's nothing - she said. Surprised by his question. Of course being Gibbs, he would know when something was wrong but she wasn't sure if she wanted to talk about last night - Don't worry. It's just... We'll deal with it eventually.

- What happened? It doesn't seems like nothing to me. McGee looks to be regreting something and you can barely smile.

- Tim freaked out yesterday night. Hearing what happened to Tony. Feeling powerless for not being able to help. Adding the frustration that the last physios sessions had been terrible.

- He offended you somehow?

- No. He said bad things. About him. About wanting to be dead because he doesn't want to be stuck on the wheelchair for a long time. And he fears his life won't get back to normal.

- Ducky told me it's normal to have depression at some point when you deal with long process recovery.

- I know. I expected that to happen at some time. But it's so heartbreaking to see his desperation. And sad also that he believes I don't care much about him. That he's the only on suffering. And it's not true - Abby said - I'm not mad at him. It wasn't his intention to hurt my feelings. I understand everything he's going through, but why does it hurt? I shouldn't feel like this. I can't help it.

- Because you care about him. And he is wrong if he thinks you don't. Knowing McGee I know he would never intentionally hurt you. Talk to him. A good talk can make things work.

- Yeah. I don't know how it'll feel to look at him with all he said running through my mind. Saying that I shouldn't have saved him. But how couldn't I? I don't regret my choice but what if he never forgive me for choosing something that is better to me, than for him. I'd suffer a lot if I loose him. But he's alive and he's the one suffering with the blast consequences.

- It's not a question of forgiveness. You did what was right, saved his life. He should be thankful for that - Gibbs said - But he would forgive you anyway. He loves you.

- Does he? - Abby asked. She felt like she was insulting McGee for questioning this - I mean, I know he loves me but it's like best friends love. Nothing more than that.

- Why do you think that?

- He never showed any sign. Never told me a word. We will be best friends for the rest of our lifes.

- What about you? Have you told him how you feel?

- I couldn't. Before the blast we never had the opportunity. Even because I didn't know if we should take this step and try again. I bet the thinks the same. Of course the blast changes the way we see the whole situation. For now our attention is on his recovery. And I think that in the end we'll end up living our lives as friends. I don't know if he still loves me.

- How can you not know? Everyone can see it that there's something more than just a friendship between you - Gibbs said. He saw that she didn't seem to believe it - Just remember: he was dying on that hospital bed. The doctors said he had no chance. But he came back. For you. All you need to do is figure out how to deal with those feelings. You need to open up your hearts to each other. A good talk can help. And no matter what you decide. If you get together or not. The most important thing is that you can continue your lifes without keeping wondering what could have been if things went differently.

- It would make things easier. And at the same time it's complicated. But Gibbs, you realize that you are advising me and McGee about something that goes against your own rule?

- Screw it! Every rule has it's exception. So let it be. I won't be on your way in case things work between you two.

- Oh Gibbs. You always says the right things to make me feel better - Abby said and hugged him - Thank you.

- For today you can talk about last night. To say whatever needs to be said, to forgive if you feel like it's needed. But you can't wait to long to fix things. As soon as you two are done with it, better for the progress of his recovery.

- I know. I wouldn't withstand to be in an awkward situation with Tim for too long.

- I have to go back. But let me tell one last thing. Don't give up of your hapiness. If you think you and McGee can be happy together, never let anything stop you from conquer that. Forget any fear you or him may have. Life is too short. You were given a second chance. But you might not have another one.

- I won't waste this chance. Thank you. - Abby said and Gibbs kissed her cheek before leaving.

The boss waked into the bullpen and seeing as McGee was alone and Tony and Ziva were no where near there and went close to his desk.

- I'm not done checking the victim's bank account yet boss. He has done a lot of financial transactions on the previous days before his death. I'm trying to find some discrepancy - McGee said

- Alright. But I wanted to talk to you about other thing.

- Ok. About what?

- Abby. She is worried about you. She told me what happend last night. Not detailed but an overview. - Gibbs said. McGee was about to say something but he made a gesture for him to listen - I understand how stressful this whole situation can be. And I can't really blame you for loosing your mind at some moment. This is expected from anyone that have to face the same problems as you. But you shouldn't underestimate what Abby is going through alongside with you. This is being as tiresome for both of you.

- I know I said things that I never should have. I feel horrible and I entirely regret it. After all she is doing for me, it's so unfair and she doesn't deserved that. I'll apologize for what happened. I owe her this.

- And it's better be a good one.

- It'll be - McGee said with a big confidence tone.

Later that night the ride to home was pretty silent. They barely talked. The only sound was the songs playing on the radio. As they got home things got better. They started to talk about random things and the new case. It helped to ease the tension between them.

After dinner Abby went to watch Tv while McGee took a shower. Despite being hard to change clothes he prefered doing this on his own. After putting his clothes on, he headed to where she was.

- Mind if I join you? - he asked

- No. Of course not. Here, let me help you - She said and helped him to move from the wheel chair to sit on the couch by her side. She sat facing him and crossed her legs.

- So what are you watching - he asked since it seemed the tv channel was in it's advertising time

- Just the Mythbusters. I never get tired of how awesome their experimentations are.

- I thought you had already watched every single episode.

- Well, I did. It never hurts to watch again and again. Those guys are genius.

- I guess you have new favorite geeks now - he said pretending a bit of jealousy

- OH. NO! Don't say that. You know you'll always be my favorite geek. And to top it off, my geek carries a gun - she said laughing. Then she closed her eyes and still smiling said - Oh God. The thought of a geek and a gun together totally turns me on.

When she opened her eyes she saw him with a serious look upon his face. McGee was considering himself a monster. For making this pretty woman (pretty, not only because of her beauty, but she had a wonderful personality as well) cry. And even with what he did she could still smile at him. She wasn't mad at him as he could see.

Abby knew he was mad at himself for what he had said. But agrees that he deserved to feel this way. He had said too many hinky things. She liked to see that he regreted it. They stared at each other for a little while and then he was the first one to talk.

- I'm so sorry for last night. Sorry for what I said and did. Sorry for hurting you. I'm really feeling bad for this. I understand if you don't want my apologize. I know your upset with. me. And you have the right to be. I just want you to know that I'm deeply sorry for that.

- Under other circunstances, I'd probably be mad at you. But I confess that I'm not. I know how much challenging this has been for you. Not only physically but also emotionally. And that this can mess up with anyone's mind. What hurts the most is that you think only about your feelings. What about how I feel? You believe I'm happy for you being alive but that I don't care if you're struggling hard with the recovery process and suffering through it? Do you really think that I feel this way? Because you're totally wrong.

- I said nonsenses which I know pretty well aren't true. All of you have been helping me so much. We are like a family and this means a lot for me - McGee said and looked deeply into her eyes - But you Abby. What you've been doing for me is beyond what I could've expected. You are almost living my life. My daily routine. Doing a lot of things for me. And I can see you happy doing this. Helping me. And you never complains about it. Even the moments you have to put up with me when I'm being a pain in the ass. And then I come and say things like that to you. Even being mad at how things has been going lately, it's not an excuse. You're too good to me Abby. I don't think I deserve you. I mean, that I don't deserve all this help you're giving me.

- I'm doing the best I can to help you. I can see that sometimes it doesn't work but I still try. It hurts to see that you doubt this and don't believe when I say you're not the only one facing a hard time. You should know that I'd do everything to help you.

- When you say everything, do you mean everything at all? - McGee asked with a smirk on his face. She noticed that.

- McGee! Your naughty boy! I see your ulterior motives here. But who knows? Maybe, if you behave yourself like a good boy - she laughed from the innocent face he made - Stop! I'm trying to be serious. The thing is I'm willing to do whatever it takes to help you. You know that. Just don't ever question my feelings again. You so damn well know I care and a lot about you.

- I never doubted this. How could I? I was mean to you yesterday because I was out of my mind just as you said. I know you care a lot and I'm truly sorry for thinking the wrong things.

- It's ok. But if you ever think that I'm not going through the same emotional challenge as you are, believe me, things will get hinky - She said and moved to get even closer to him - Something that I'm curious about. When you said you rather die than be on this wheelchair forever. Is there any truth on it? Or you said it because you were frustrated?

- I'll be honest to you, as always, and yes, I at times thought about it. I fear not having my life back as it was before. I know I should be happy for being alive after all. But it doesn't feels enough. I want more. I want to walk again. And it seems like a far away future.

- Look. Just don't give up. You still have a chance. Don't waste it. Just think about all these people who have their lifes affected somehow but doesn't have choices. And they need to stay in a wheelchair forever. For them there's no middle way or options. They learn to deal with this sudden change on their lifes. But you were given a second chance, you still can recover your movements. Please don't let yourself down so easily.

- You're right. I still can walk again. A hard process. But possible. As long as I have you near me it'll always look easier. I promisse your worries won't be in vain.

- I believe you. But I'm sure of on thing - Abby said. She couldn't tell when it happene but right now they were face to face. Really closer. She touched his face - All of this will be worth at the end. You'll see.

- Thanks Abby. So much. And again I'm so sorry for last night. Would you forgive me?

- Of course I forgive you Timmy. How couldn't I?

They were so close that Abby could kiss him if she wanted. And she really wanted to. But knew this wasn't a proper moment. They stayed looking into each other's eyes for a minute. McGee seemed about to say something but for some reason he said nothing. He closed his eyes slowly like he was expecting to be kissed. Abby could swear he was about to say he loved her. But why did he stop? Why couldn't he tell her these three words? Maybe he didn't feel this way towards her anymore. She had to make a huge effort not to kiss him right there. Luckly she managed to control herself and only kissed him on the cheek.

McGee was indeed thinking she was about to kiss him by how close she had gotten to him. He wished he could tell her that he loved her but the words didn't seemed to get out of his mouth. He was surprised when her lips touched his cheek. But it was better this way. Tonight was a time for him to apologize for what he had done. There would be other oportunity for them to open up their hearts and to clarify what they really feel for each other. However he knew it shouldn't take long. He was already having a second chance and he was not going to waste it.

- I'm quite tired. I'm off to sleep. Wanna join me or will you stay here a little longer? - Abby asked

- I'm going with you. Look, really thank you for not staying mad at me as you should be and I'm... - said but she cut him off.

- Enough Tim. I have no hard feelings about it. Get over it. The only thing you need to worry about is your physio sessions. You have one scheduled tomorrow. I'll be there with you. For now just get some rest.

- Thank you anyway - McGee said and kissed her back on the cheek.

They went to sleep feeling better. Relieved for having talked and solved any misunderstanding from the whole situation. And now they would get their attention again on his recovery.

November and December went by so fast. In this period McGee started to take even more seriously his sessions. After they had resolved their differences over their little discussion when he was frustrated, he found in her all the incentive he need to give him the strenght to go through it all. It took a few days but soon he was doing his best on the session. It helped him to speed up a bit the recovery process. Abby was so proud seeing him dedicating himself so much on his objective. He promised her that he would walk again. That he had no more doubts about it. He was sure now.

It was now christmas time. McGee had completed 6 months on the sessions. His legs were way better. Before he used to feel a slight tingling sensation on his legs that used to come and go. And now he didn't feel it anymore. He had gained strenght on his legs and he at a few times managed to stand, but always with some support around, and only for a few seconds because he would always fall after his tries. And gradually he was regaining his movements. When sitting or lying he could move his legs slightly but he had some limitations. And of course as he barely could stand still on his foot he also couldn't walk yet. But everyone used to congrat him for his impressive recovering.

Today was Christmas eve. At the afternoon they went to Ncis because it would be held there the Secret Santa joke between some of the agency staff. Team Gibbs was involved along people from others sectors and functions. After everything were done Gibbs had dispensed them. They were free to enjoy the christmas night even that they were working on a case. Some people gathered with their families and some went to a party planned by Tony. McGee and Abby had considered going but they changed their minds last minute.

They decided to have a dinner. Not any dinner. McGee was the one to cook. He had made some Christmas food and bought a special wine to celebrate. As Abby went out in the morning and he was left alone he started to prepare the dining table for the night. When they got home Abby was very surprised at what she saw. How he had organized it. The wine glasses, the dishes, the cutlery and even the table napkins were well placed.

- Wow Tim. This is amazing. Have you been working on some kind of magic?

- Nothing magical. Only Lord Elf here doing his best for this night which always is a special date for you - McGee said and even being in the wheelchair he managed to pull the chair for her to sit.

- Such a perfect gentleman. This is so sweet. Thanks.

- You're welcome. Listen I need to pick up something in my bedroom. Feel free to start dinner without me if you want.

- Go there. I will wait for you - She said and he went there. When he came back he had a rectangular velvet black box on his hand.

- What you've been doing for me all this long is priceless. And I saw this in the store and couldn't help but buy this for you. I want it to represent to you how much I'm grateful at you.

- I told you didn't need to buy me anything.

- I made a point of buying this one for you. You deserve it. It's the least I can do.

- Thank you honey - she said and he gave her the box. When she opened it her jaw dropped. It was a necklace. And it had a small skull carved in black and white diamonds - Oh. This is precious. So beautiful and delicate. But Tim, I bet this was expensive.

- You're worth every penny I spent. So do you like it?

- If I liked it? It's more likely I loved it.

- Want me to help you putting this on?

- That would be nice - she said and turned a bit so he could put the necklace on her. He took of the spiked collar she was wearing and replaced it with the one he bought. Abby was enjoying how beautiful it was - I really loved. Thank you so much.

- You're welcome - he said while she hugged him.

Then they sat and had dinner. They couldn't tell why but it really seemed somehow a special night. They enjoyed the food and the wine. They drank just a bit. Not enough for get drunk. After that they changed their clothes for comfortable ones and sat together at the couch and watched tv. They were talking about christmas traditions when there was a silence moment. They looked to each other and Abby couldn't hold her feelings anymore. Not when she had to look into his eyes and his shy smile. She needed to know.

- Tim, there's something I have to ask you. I can't stand not knowing the answer. It's killing me. And listen, I want you to know that wherever your answer lead us after, I'm helping you this much because I care too much about you. Because you're my friend and I'd do this whenever my friends needs me. And I know that with you I'm helping you too much, I mean, I'd help them but it'd not be even close compared to what I've been doing for you. And I wanted clarify that I would never expect anything in return. So I'm ok whether your answer is positive or not.

- Abby I would never think that. I understand what you're doing for me. And I would do for you exactly the same. It wouldn't matter if people thought I was exaggerating on my way of taking care of you. I'd do this with pleasure. And my greatest reward would be to see you recovered. I know this is how you must feel. You're such a good hearted person and I'm grateful for having you in my life. So what do you want to ask me?

- Do you... I need you to be honest here. Not that you aren't. Because I know you are one of the most honest people on earth. And specially with me. But please don't be afraid to say no if it's the case. I just wanted to know... Do you Timothy... Do you love me? I... I mean, do you still love me?

McGee surely didn't see this coming. So this was what was bugging her. Not knowing if he still felt love for her? How could she doubt this. He thought he had been too much obvious at times. For being surprised at her question he hesitated a bit. It made Abby believe in the worst thing.

- You don't love me anymore - She said sadly - I should have know that. Then I would have avoid this awkward moment. But I needed to know. And now that I know I wish didn't. Clearly you see me just as friend. And I shouldn't expect more than that.

- Abby, stop.- he said. How could she get to this conclusion if he hadn't said a word - What makes you think that?

- This! You see, you answered my question with another question. Not with a yes or no. You're gentle not wanting to hurt me with the truth. You must know that I love you, way more than I love puppies, because I've said it some times since the blast. Indirectly speaking, but I said. And being such a smart guy as you are, I'm sure you realized it. And yet you never told me anything. Never told me you loved me. Not showed any signal as well. No words. No actions. No signals. It was so long ago. Of course you wouldn't feel that way anymore.

- You're so wrong thinking this way. Abby. I never stopped loving you. I've being trying to hide from myself. To make it go away. However I failed doing it. And I'm glad I failed. You confuses me too much. I always tought you loved me like people love their friends. Never could imagine something more than this. Not after so many years since back then when we met. I never had courage to say anything because I had no ideia what would be your reaction. Because I know you don't feel the same way I feel anymore.

- McGee. I asked you to be honest. It's okay if you say that you don't love me. I'm prepared for this possibility. Just say it. Will hurt less than if tell me a lie.

- You know what? You want me to be honest? So this is the truth - he said.

Abby was waiting to hear what he was about to say. But she never expected what he did. In the next seconds his lips were on her lips. And he seeked for it voraciously. Abby didn't take long and deepened into the kiss. Years of lust were being put in this kiss. Years hoping for this to happen again. Years hiding the love they felt. It was a passionately kiss and at the same time started to turn into a hot kiss. They had to stop for breath. But they keept their lips almost together.

- I... Timothy McGee... Love you... So much... Abgail Sciuto - he said between giving her kisses - I hate to see... That you doubt me... I guess after this you'll change your mind - he ended nibbling her lower lip and then sat as he was before. Abby was stunned at what just happened.

- Wow. That was... I missed that. And it's not that I doubted you. I didn't think it was still possible. That you still loved me.

- How could you not know that? It was hard for me to see if you still loved me. I don't know if you still do. But if you had told me this before I would drop anything, any woman, any relationship that I was in and would come running back to your arms. I would be always up for you. So, the answer you wanted: Yes, I do love you. I had loved you since the first time I talked to you and I'll love you until my last day on earth. I always waited for the day we could get together again to come. Even knowing this day could never come. I just never gave up. And I wasn't sure if you still loved me or just saw me as a friend.

- You know that I'm not the kind of person to say I love you. Like with it's real meaning. I use to say it a lot in a friendly way. To all the people I care about. It got worn off as I used it too many times. I guess I need to learn it's meaning again. So I can properly say those three words for you. I can't keep hiding from my feelings anymore and you deserve to hear it from me - Abby said and thought for a moment in something to replace it - I want you Tim. Always wanted. It has been here all the time and I never could realize it. I guess that saying that I want you works. I don't say 'I want you' to any person unless I want the person. And I want you.

- So you really still love me? After all this time? - McGee asked

- Always.

- Why didn't you let me know?

- You haven't told me either. It's our mistake. Not only mine or only yours. If we really wanted it, we shouldn't have had to wait a blast and almost losing each other to finally talk about it. Even risking our friendship.

- I know. We've wasted too many time. And I don't want waste another day without you.

- Neither do I. I love you Tim. I mean it. - she said. Now it was her time to kiss him. She tried to put as much passion on it for him to understand how she felt. Sometimes actions worth more than words. And it seemed he understood it. He kissed her back fervently. When things were starting to heat up between them she pulled away - We can't do this McGee!

- What? What are you talking about? - he asked confused - You started it. All this talk. And now you're backing down? Saying we can't? I don't understand.

- I didn't mean that we can't. Because we totally can. When I started this I just wanted to know if we still shared the same feeling. I'm glad to know we do and I bet you're glad too. But I don't think we should get back together like now - he was about to say something but she continued - Don't get me wrong. I want this so much as you want it. And I loved kissing you again. You're so good. But this is not the right moment. We need to keep focus on your recovery. And only in that. Since the beggining I put this as a priority and I don't want anything distracting us from our objective. I want you healed and you want to walk again. Let's put our attention fully on this. And make this happen. And when it does happen we can talk again about it.

- You're right. And don't think this conversation was in vain. Of course it wasn't. It's so good to finally know what you feel and to tell you how I feel. However after my recovery, when we get to talk about it again. I want it to be serious. I mean, more than this conversation.

- How much serious this conversation can get?

- You need to sort of your priorities. To know if a serious commitment is what you want. I know you have problems with it. Someday you'll have to make your choice. I love you and even being afraid of you I wouldn't hesitate saying yes to you. Being afraid of you wanting to break up again. I wouldn't tolerate if this come to happen again. Because this time, if we get back together I want it to be the most serious kind of commitment. I want it to be definitive. For the rest of our lifes. You need to figure out if you want the same thing. I don't want to try again if you aren't sure of what you want.

- Even knowing my answer I promisse I'll think better about it. Right now I want you away from this wheelchair as I said thousand times. Then after we'll have all the time for a proper talk.

- Agreed. And I promisse you I'll be out of this wheelchair as soon as I can - McGee said and looked to his watch - God. It's way past midnight. It's already christmas. I made you lose the start of your favorite day. Don't get mad at me.

- I don't mind. Not today. It was for a good cause.

- So you're having a great christmas?

- For sure - she said and as she was still too close to him, she couldn't fight her huge will, and kissed him once more. Even having agreed with her, McGee also didn't fight back his will and returned her kiss with the same enthusiasm as she was kissing him.

It took them all their strenght to keep control and not go any further beyond the kisses. They didn't want to rush it so soon. But when you love someone and you have the chance to show it to the person after years waiting for it, sometimes you end up rushing things. So after winning their little battle they managed to share the bed for some sleep. They knew this night was so special. Not only was christmas but also it was the day they waited to long. The day they finally stopped hiding their true feelings and admitted to each other.

* * *

Chapter 8 is up. Wow. This chapter got bigger than I thought it would get. I was thinking about dividing it in two chapters. But I decided to let it like this so we can move forward fast. I just started to write chapter 9 and I believe there are only two chapters for this story have an end. I enjoy so much writing it and I enjoy your reviews as well. After so much time writing this, and after some huge 'writers block' (which I'm free of it now) is so nice to see it get to an end. Because at times I fear leaving my story incomplete. And then when I end it is always special.

And after ending this one I'll be right after staring a new one. I have a lot of ideas for them.

So let me know what you think. Hope you enjoyed.  
Note: I now own a tumblr account. My username is leticiahp16. Feel free to visit it.


	9. Chapter 9: Learning to walk again

1 - I don't own NCIS or any of it's characters. Just using them as inspiration for some fanfictions.

2 - I'm NOT a native english speaker. So there may have mistakes (it certainly have). I'm sorry. My english is not 100%. But it's good. I'm trying hard to let it easy to understand what I tell.

3 - I'm not expert in medicine so I'm sorry if there is something wrong about the medical parts.

* * *

By your side

Chapter 9: Learning to walk again.

* * *

Abby woke up first next morning and went to prepare some breakfast for them before they go to work. She couldn't stop thinking about what happened last night. It felt nice to be with him again but what if he wake up today and regret it because right after she had told him to wait some more time. What if he thought she was playing with his feelings again? She was definitely not doing this. She loved him. But he knew how much she was afraid of commitments. Could this make him give a step back on this?

When McGee came in the kitchen they greeted a good morning and he took what she gave him to eat. He noticed she was too quiet. It wasn't normal. He waited some more minutes and when she still wasn't talking he had to verify if she was okay.

- Is there something bothering you Abby?

- No. Not at all - she said trying to avoid his gaze. He would know it wasn't true. Actually he would know it anyway.

- I know you pretty well to be sure that you're bothered with something. What is it?

- It's nothing... It's just that I'm... Well, it's nothing... - she said. Abby didn't know if she wanted tell him what was on her mind. However it wasn't fair. McGee had been honest to her and she had to be honest with him as well. Besides she was curious to know what he was thinking about what happened - Ok. It's something. Are you upset about last night?

- Upset? About the amazing talk he had? About the amazing kisses we shared? How could I be upset? - he asked. Why was she asking that? Unless... - Why? Are you upset?

- No. No. Of course not. I thought you could get upset a me. Because I started the whole thing and then I told you to stop. It can be confusing. And I didn't want you to stop. I didn't want to stop it.

- I'm not upset at you. You're right. I wouldn't have stopped if I hadn't to stop. But as you say. My recovery comes first. This would distract us. And I want to be fully recovered before something more serious happen between us. So I can turn my full attention to you. It'll be better this way. Don't worry. I believe in you. We want it to work. But he have to wait a little longer.

- Even being too soon I bet that if we hadn't stopped, only God know how crazy things could have gotten - she said smiling - I guess we can't picture it. Considering it's better not think about it.

- Now that you're saying it. I guess I can picture it. Imagine things getting damn good... Ouch! - At every word he said he lowered his voice. He was beginning to whisper when Abby hit him with the dishcloth - Just kidding.

- As I said, you are the focus in here. Only you. When we get done with it then we can talk about us. It'll be hard wait up there. So we better forget it for now.

- Ok. No problem. I agree - he said moving his chair close to where she was sitting - However, up to there... - he made some effort to lean over her and stole a kiss - Sorry, couldn't resist.

- Don't do this. It's not going to work - she said but staring at his eyes was the worst mistake - Hell! I told you! - She pulled his face closer again and kissed him back. It went way longer than it should have and McGee broke the kiss.

- Damn it! We'll be late. Let's hurry up.

They changed into new clothes and rushed to work. Even driving as fast as she could they got there fifteen minutes late. Abby went along with him so people wouldn't blame only him.

- Look. McLate has finally come - Tony said. He was standing close to Gibbs desk

- I'm sorry boss. It won't happen again - McGee said as he and Abby stood by his desk.

- I know it won't. May I know what happened? - Gibbs asked and Abby and McGee looked to each other.

- It was just a small setback - Abby said

- What kind? - Tony asked looking curiously for them. While this Gibbs picked up the phone

- A personal one. But what matter is that we're here now - McGee said

- Personal setback, hum? - Tony repeated with a smirk in the corner of his mouth. Abby saw his smile.

- This is not what you're thinking - she said

- So what is this?

- It's classified. Besides if it was what you're thinking it is, then we would be one hour late not only fifteen minutes - she said. McGee got a bit embarrassed at it but he didn't mind - I'll go down to my lab. Have a good day guys - she went away and Tony kept looking at McGee

- Don't ask me - McGee said. He could have done some joke but he wasn't in the mood - I don't know what she meant.

- McAbby is getting some. McAbby is getting some - Tony, kind of, sang it. Soon he was head slapped for that.

- Drop it. We got a case - Gibbs said - Dead marine. Pick up Ziva and Dorneget. Refuel the truck

- On it, boss! - While Tony left the bullpen Gibbs stopped by McGee's desk and glared at him.

- I swear. It's not what Tony's dirty mind thinks. We were just late.

- It's not my business. However judging by your smiles, you two finally have resolved the old outstanding issue between you, haven't you?

- Part of it I'd say. Not all of it - McGee answered. He didn't need much thinking to know what Gibbs was referring to.

- Whatever happened, good for you, kid. Good for you two - the boss said and went away.

Some days had gone by. McGee and Abby had agreed on not to talk about their relationship status. They knew it would be better again. And as time was going by they got back to act just like they were before. Best friends. No kisses. No talks about it. They kind of forgot what happened. Of course not totally. That christmas eve had been so special they didn't dare to forget it.

As March was beginning McGee's physio sessions was being crazy. A total rush. As he was progressing so much since the new year started he decided to dedicate even more time on it. He was already being able to move his legs on his own. He had been doing a lot of physical exercises lately. However he still couldn't stand on his foot or walk. This was the next step they were going to deal with in the next days.

It was a saturday night and they were lying on the bed. Abby was in McGee's arms. Sometimes they lay like that. It wasn't a problem for them. Actually it always felt comfortable and warm been into each other's didn't mind to stay like this even having agreed on keeping only a friendship between them for now.

Abby glanced at McGee. He had his eyes closed but she knew he wasn't sleeping yet. Maybe he was lost in his thoughts. She wondered what made him so concerned.

- Something on your mind Tim?

- Just thinking about the future

- Making some plans for the future?

- Not really. I mean, people usually make plans and I'm not any different. However since all that happened I'm not sure of what to wait for the future. Do you think about it? Do you make plans?

- I hate making plans. It's hard to think about the future. The more we plan far ahead, the more we easily end up disappointed when things don't go as we want. So I don't like to think on something far away from now. The future that I think of is like the next month, nothing far beyond that - Abby said - It doesn't feels right to think about future since it has a lot of changes thought it. It's so uncertain.

- Yeah. But yet we can't avoid thinking about it, can we? And then when we stop to realise how things went, how things changed conform our lives went on, it seems crazy.

- It's not crazy. It's life. Things change. Not always as we want. So many things happen all the time. An all we plan is affected. For example: friendship. We have our own personality and with that comes the plans we made for us. And then we meet new people on our lives. We end up always influenced by our friends even that just a little bit. You can't deny it. It's a fact. It's normal to change some parts of our plans for the people we like and love. That helps to improve the acquaintanceship between you and your friends.

- Oh. I know that right? Just like getting your butt tattooed to impress your friends. Or in this case to impress the girlfriend - he said remembering the tatoo he still had.

- Exactly. Before meeting me could you have imagined having a tatoo? I'm sure not. It's natural to make some changes for people we love. For people who deserve we change for them. Don't worry about making plans for the future. Since most of it may be different from what we want. We never know what will happen next. Just do as I do. Enjoy the moment. Worry about the present. It's what will make your future.

- I wish it was easy not keeping thinking much about what we hope to happen - McGee said. There was something running in his mind and he needed to know the answer - Would you change your plans?

- Yes. I'm willing to change my decision about you. About us. - Abby knew by the look on his eyes what he was talking about - As much as I'm afraid of certain things,I trust you. I trust my life on you. I know you won't let me down. I figured it out that I don't mind going as far as a relationship allows us to go as long as I'm with you in this. And you're the only man who I've ever imagined myself getting settled with.

- Would you do that? I mean, if you don't wanna a marriage we don't have to. Having you by my side is such a precious gift. I'm grateful for every minute I spend with you. You don't have to go through something you don't want to.

- My future now is getting you out of this wheelchair. I know this is your plan too. And we are getting so close Tim. By how things are going I believe it's matter of months until you finally be able to walk on your own. Farther than that I don't want to think about it now. What we are going to do of our lives we better decide it later when everything get back to normal.

- Ok. As you want sweetheart. No problem - he said and gave a kiss on her head - Are you sleepy?

- Yes. I guess it's pretty late

- Won't you move to your side of the bed?

- No. I love sleeping cuddled with you - she said smiling at him - Unless you don't want it - she was about to move away from his arms he tightened her on his hug.

- Only being crazy to not wanting you close to me like that. And I also love being like this with you. I don't think we could get even closer than that.

- Oh. Believe me. We can. There's some other way for that - Abby said smiling seductively. He rolled his eyes realising what she meant.

- Wanna show me how? - he whispered in her ear

- McGee! You better sleep before I hit you

- This is unfair. You suggested it. - he said and she showed him her fist closed - Alright. Alright. You won. Good night!

- Good night Timmy.

In the next weekend Abby took McGee to bowl. As a gift for the progress he had been doing. Not any bowling game. They went to bowl with the nuns. She finally was able to introduce him to sister Rosita. He thought it would be a bit weird. He didn't know if it was because he was bowling in a wheelchair or because he was bowling with nuns. But Abby like them and he trusted her. At the end he enjoyed a lot and loved to meet sister Rosita. She was so kind and smart.

It was middle of April now and he was in this tenth month of physiotherapy. Things between them had cooled down a lot. They never talked about a relationship again. And were acting just like best friends again. Suddenly they thought this would stay like this forever. And nothing more than that. Just friendship. But they couldn't deny what happened last Christmas.

McGee was given permission to leave earlier the work due to the physio session. Since they didn't have a urgent case to work on. Abby, of course, went with him. Today they were helping him to keep himself on foot. Abby was helping him too. Supporting him. He was finally getting to be able to keep balance and stand on his foot but still holding on some support bars.

For both surprise they saw Gibbs coming in there. Abby went to talk to him while McGee nodded greeting him.

- Hey Gibbs, what a surprise seeing you here - she said

- It was about time to me to visit you in the physio. I haven't done that in a while. I guess it would be nice to come - Gibbs said

- Don't worry. We know how busy you always are. I understand that you can't come more often. I'm really happy seeing you here - McGee said and turned his attention to what he was doing.

- Are you ok?

- Sure boss. Just some hard work.

- It's surreal how he's progressing lately - Abby said as she and Gibbs went to sit at the chairs - It seemed so complicated before. But now I already can see him walking again. Just matter of time.

- He deserves it. After everything that happened to him. It's so hard to see you life change so abruptly. We never expect to be in any kind of explosion. But accidents does happen. And we can't avoid it. McGee is fighting so much for it. To make things go back as it were before. He is getting it gradually.

They kept talking some more things until they turned their attention back to McGee. He was now on a mat. It had bars on its sides so the person using it would have some support when trying to give some steps.

Abby got up to get closer. Gibbs was beside her. McGee was doing a lot of strength, was under some pain and starting to sweat. And even being damn tired he didn't mind. He had to do this. Being helped by two people, he was holding the bars while trying to move one of his leg forward. It was almost killing him. But he wouldn't give up. Not when he was so close to get what he wanted.

Abby hugged Gibbs while watching McGee giving his first steps on the mat. She became so emotional that couldn't find words to explain what she was feeling. McGee looked to her and saw she had a shy smile and he could see a tear falling down her face. He knew that his face wasn't any different from hers. He couldn't believe what was happening.

- Is it... some kind of a dream... Where is... the alarm clock? Why can't I... hear it's sound? - he asked between pauses due to the effort that was being required

- It's not a dream. It's real. You're starting to walk again - Gibbs said proud of him

- Really? Oh gosh.. I'm doing it Abby. I'm walking again.

- I told you Tim. I always believed on you - she said walking to the mat - This just like a new start. You've been doing it so great. Soon you'll walk without needing the support. And I feel so amazed by you. That's wonderful.

- I wouldn't do it without you. Without your help. I'm sorry that I've said bad things to you through this. I didn't mean it. I owe you everything - he said when he finally got at the end of the mat. Seeing the smile on her face made all the pain he was feeling be worth. He then looked into her eyes - Thank you. Honestly. For everything.

McGee collapsed into her arms. Abby had a good reflection and caught him. But they were luck there were people around them otherwise they would have fallen on the floor. Everyone cheered him. McGee was really happy with the support people were giving him. As a gift for his effort when was given a break. He was so thrilled that he wanted to do this again immediately. But he was too much tired.

He thought it would be easy to sleep that night. But it was the other way around. It took him a long time before falling asleep. He was too excited to be able to control his feelings. After almost giving up, walking again was so wonderful. And Abby seemed so emotional seeing this happening.

As the days went by he was working even more assiduously in order to speed it up. He went there and walked on the mat until he couldn't do it anymore. The physiotherapists told him to slow down but he ignored them. It was hard to withstand the pain of the strength he was been required to make. Over the following days the process was beginning to get easier. He was getting used to the pain and that was decreasing by each day. Making his exercises smoother do make.

He had been walking on the mat for fifty days when it was decided to let him try to walk by his own. So there he was. Early May. Almost one year after the blast. Standing in the mat still using some support. He was so nervous.

- I'm afraid Abby - He said - What if I can't make it? What If I fall?

- I'll be here to pick you up. And then we'll try again. Look. We've been down this road for so long. We're closer than ever of reaching our objective. You're not allowed to step back or giving up. C'mon you can do this. I wouldn't be here all this time by your side if I didn't believe in you.

- I don't know if I'm more amazed with what is happening or if I'm afraid.

- Let's do this - she said going to a place a little far from him - You want me. All you have to do is to come and get what you want - in the next seconds she realized what she said sounded a bit awkward. People around them had an amused look on their faces - Well, I know you don't want me. Just think about something you really want and come pick it. For example: a Jet Pack. You're fascinated on it.

McGee smiled at her. He wanted to show her that she was wrong. Facing his fear he got off the mat and stood still for a few seconds without any support. Deciding it was now or never he forced his leg forward. And then he was doing it. He was walking. Weak and slow steps. But he finally reached his objective.

Abby was seeing him getting closer. The miracle was happening again. After waiting for such long time it was splendid to be experiencing this moment. I took a few minutes for him to get to her. And when he did, she hugged him tight.

- YAY! I told you! I told you Tim - she was almost screaming - I knew you would make it! This is super, ultra, hyper, mega... Amazing!

- I don't know what to say. It's... Wow. - It was all that he managed to speak. Abby let go of the hug. They were still so close. He was looking deep on her eyes. It was such a privilege to be able to look into her eyes everyday. To have the woman he truly loved near him every single day.

Overjoyed with the whole moment Abby couldn't hold herself anymore and kissed him. He kissed her back eagerly without thinking twice. It was such a special moment that even that they had agreed about not getting to this point before the right time, she knew he deserved it.

- I'm sorry - Abby said as they broke apart. She didn't know why she said that once she wasn't really sorry. But that was the only thing she could manage to say - I know we talked about this before but I... - she was stopped from finishing what she was saying when McGee pressed his forefinger on her lips.

- Don't. Cause you're wrong - and then he whispered on her ear - I do want you. Always did and always will do. Nothing will ever change that.

- Thank you Tim. For not giving up. Even had been as hard as it was. It's was hard for me too. Seeing you feeling down. Happily things are changing now.

- Yeah. I know. But this is still far from be over. These were just the first steps. There's much more to come until I finally get fit.

- And I'll be always close for help until there. I'm so proud of you! - She said and hugged him once again. Actually she practically jumped on him. The result couldn't be any other. They fell on the ground. McGee barely could keep on his foot let alone have his body overloaded.

- Calm down Abby. Or you're gonna put me on physiotherapy for one more year - he said laughing.

Abby knew that something like this deserved a celebration. McGee agreed with her idea and they called the team, Ducky and Jimmy out for some drinks. They enjoyed the night with friends. And everyone was giving McGee congratulations. Some time later it was time to leave. Gibbs gave them a ride. Abby had drunk some beers and obviously McGee couldn't drive.

They had been home for a few minutes and McGee was about to change his clothe. After all those sessions it was easier for him to move from his wheelchair to other places. So now he was sitting on the edge of his bed and had just finished taking off his shirt when Abby appeared in the bedroom. A quick look at her and he saw she was looking him weirdly. He was about to ask something but she suddenly threw herself upon him.

Abby stood in front of him and pushed him to the bed making him lie there. McGee was dazed with this but didn't had reaction when she crawled until she was on top of him. She leaned down and kissed him. He was surprised by her action. She was kissing him a bit rough and she wasn't only touching his naked chest but she was also scratching him with her nails. God. If she acted like this when she had drank just a few beers then he wouldn't want to be nowhere near her when she was drunk as hell.

Abby had been lusting for him for a long time. Suddenly she couldn't wait any longer. She knew that maybe the fact of having drank a few beers could be inducing her to do this. But who cares. She would do this whether she was sober or not. And by the way he was kissing her back she knew he would be up for it. She started to trail her way down kissing his neck, then his chest and going down slowly. McGee didn't know what to do. If he wanted her to stop or not.

It was when she reached his buckle and started to open it that he made his decision. Using the small amount of strength that he still was left he rolled them in the bed and now he was the one on top of her.

- Abby. Stop it. I'm gonna have sex with you tonight.

- C'mon. Why not? - she asked stealing a kiss - You deserve a special celebration. Besides it's nothing that you don't want to do. I've seen you undressing me with the eyes for years. Now it's your chance to use your hands.

- No Abby. I'm sorry but I can't - he said sitting back on the bed while she remained lying - One: You're a bit drunk. I don't enjoy having sex being drunk or with someone drunk. Two: I'm damn tired. And even if I wasn't I still wouldn't do anything. I don't know if I can after everything that happened. My focus is my legs. I've never stopped to think about this part in particular. Three: We're not ready for this next step. We still need to talk about it before getting serious.

- If that's what you want. I'll take a shower before going to sleep - she said stepping away

- Please don't get mad at me for this. Do you think that I'd miss this chance with you? I want this as much as you do. However I have no physical conditions to do this.

- That's ok Tim. I'm sorry.

She left the room. McGee didn't want to let her upset. But he had no choice.

For his relieve in the next morning he saw that she wasn't upset at him. I was quite the opposite actually. She apologized for pushing it. When she obviously knew he wasn't ready for that yet. He couldn't love her more. He had refused her and rather than being pissed , she was the one apologizing. He knew that any other woman, even knowing the circumstances, would be mad for days.

The months started to go by fast. McGee's progress was being awesome. He sure had already walked by himself. But it wasn't just this. He had to train it for months.

After two months he exchanged his wheelchair for crutches. The change happened gradually and it made him so happy. He was regaining some freedom. Stopping being so dependent of people.

Abby could see this battle for his recovery soon getting to an end. And she couldn't wait for this day. She had been living this routine for more than one year. She just couldn't imagine how things will go when McGee manage have his normal life back.

Although McGee had told he loved her, things were getting confusing since then. She trusted him. No doubts in here. However she realized that his words used to mean something while his actions meant the other way around.

In the fourth month (september) he managed to let go of the crutches. He was walking without needing any support. And they both could see this was getting close to the end. McGee was already walking and only doing some exercises to improve his walk. Soon he would take the Ncis physical test. So he could go back to work on field assignments.

But they weren't shure about how thing would be like when this day comes. They have been living together for more than one year. And despite some difficulties they faced, they couldn't deny that they were loving it. However they could end up apart. Each one at in your respective apartment. This was becoming confusing for them. And they just couldn't talk about it for some reason.

It took him 6 months since the day he walked alone by himself to finally finish his physiotherapy session. He couldn't believe he was having his life back as it was. With all that happened it was a miracle.

By the end of november he took the Ncis tests. The physical, the shooting and the driving test. He faced some little troubles but he managed to be approved in all of them.

At the night they and the team went to celebrate McGee's achievement. McGee was really having fun. In a day like that even small things made him smile. And everyone he loved was there with him. And has always been there for him through it all.

McGee had to leave for the bathroom. And when he got back he noticed Abby had already gone. Why? She seemed happy. She was happy for him but then why she left?

Abby took advantage that he had gone for bathroom break and went to his apartment. She had planned on packing her things which were in his apartment. It was already painful only thinking about it. She didn't want him to see it. Her mission of helping him through his recovery was completed. She needed to go back to her apartment.

McGee didn't want to be impolite. Since this celebration was for him. But he wanted to go after her. He told them that he had to go for her and they understood it. God, he had the best friends in the world. He tried to call her but she didn't reply it.

Abby was in his bedroom. A travel bag was over his bed. She had put some of her clothes into his wardrobe. While she packed some of her things, she was thinking about everything that happened. It brought a few tears to her eyes. Sad because it was time to go. And happiness for seeing him completely healed. Suddenly she heard the door being opened.

When opening the door and saw the lights on he was sure Abby was there. He called her name, but had no answer. However he heard a low cry coming from bedroom.

- Abby, what happened? I thought you were having fun. What made... - he was talking but stopped seeing her travel back - Where are you going?

- Home - she answered. She had turned her back to the door so he couldn't her putting away her tears. And she was ready she turned to him - It's so crazy. I have been almost living here. My belongings seem to be spread everywhere. It'll take days until I get everything packed.

- Why? Why are you leaving? You can stay as long as you want here.

- I know. But I have to go. As a friend I promised you that I'd be with you through it all. And I was. And I helped you all the ways I could. And you were great. Many people give up hope when their lives gets upside down. You had bad moments but never really gave up. Now it's over. I have to go back to my own life.

- You don't have to do this exactly now. You can make it slowly. I mean it will take time untill you get everything back to your apartment. And even this way, something always end up being left behind.

- I'm sorry Tim - she said closing her zipper of her travel bag and walked to him to hug him - I loved living with you for the past one and a half year. I enjoyed every minute. And I understood the bad moments. What I had to do here is done - she let go of the hug but they were still close.

- What happened to the 'I love you' and 'You love me' part? You forgot about it?

- That's something we need to talk and figure it out - she said taking her bag and walking out of the bedroom - Not tonight

- Abby - he was following her and stopped by the couch - Stay. Please

- I can't - she said by the door. She turned to face him - I'm not walking out of your life, Timmy. I'm just going home. You know where to find me if you need something. I need a time so I can place things on the right place where they belong. To organize my thoughts. You'd feel better doing the same. Bye. See you tomorrow.

Abby turned to the door and was almost touching the door knob when she heard something she never though she would hear anytime soon. McGee didn't know where this came from but he was full of confidence and before he could have lost the opportunity, he said:

- Abby. Will you marry me? - he had even gotten on his knees.

She stopped making her way out and dropped her travel bag. His words barely making sense on her mind.

* * *

Chapter 9 is up. This is the penultimate chapter. I can't believe it's almost done.  
It's funny how at times I have some troubles to write but then when I look back and see that I wrote more than 5000 words, I'm like "Wow. When have I wrote this much?".

Let me know what you think of this chapter.  
I hope you enjoy it.


	10. Chapter 10: Till death do us part?

1 - I don't own NCIS or any of its characters. Just using them as inspiration for some fanfictions.

2 - I'm NOT a native english speaker. So there may have mistakes (it certainly have). I'm sorry. My english is not 100%. But it's good. I'm trying hard to let it easy to understand what I tell.

3 - I'm not expert in medicine so I'm sorry if there is something wrong about the medical parts.

* * *

By your side

Chapter 10: Till death do us part?

* * *

Abby turned around and was surprised seeing him kneeling on the ground. She was stunned by the sudden proposal. Her eyes were wide open. Before she speak, he got up. They were looking directly on each others eyes.

- You're making the same mistake again Tim. You realize that, don't you? Trying to rush things once again.

- Believe me, I don't like doing this. Because I respect that you need time. I really do. However, I have the feeling that if you walk out this door we'll never have this conversation again. And things will be just like it were before. And I don't want it.

- Things will never be like before. Whatever happens now on, things have changed. We can't go back to the old routine and pretend that we haven't discussed our feelings, that we haven't kissed or forget this experience of living together and sharing a bed almost every single night. It'll be weird if we act like nothing happened.

- Exactly. We can't. But still it's what will end up happening. And before I can proceed with my life, I need to know what you want for your life - McGee said walking closer to her - I don't wanna have to go looking for a woman when I already found the right one for me. The one that I have loved for so long. There is no time to be wasted. Time is going by fast and we're getting older. It's about time to decide what we're going to do. My decision is made. What about you?

- It's too soon. Maybe you're jumping the gun. You need to think better about it. I believe you're grateful for everything I've done for you. And you don't know how to show how much it meant for you. You don't need to ask me in marriage just to show how much you appreciated it and be able to return it. You don't need to thank me. As I said it many times, I've done it as a friend. Never expected nothing in return. I hate to think that you're asking me just because you feel like it's something you're obliged to do.

- Abby. Stop! You're right to say that I'm never going to find words enough to be thankful to you. However, you're so wrong about the rest. I don't wanna marry you in gratitude to your help. I want to marry you because I do love you. Not just because you're pretty and that I love the way you dress. I love you mostly for who you are. For your sweet heart and for your brilliant mind. I would never marry someone just to be thankful to her. Don't you believe me?

- That you love me? Yes, I do believe. That you want me? I just can't get to believe this.

- Of course I want you. How can you doubt that? And what is the difference, anyway?

- If the love between two people was enough, things would be way easy. It's more than that. And your words and actions are inverses. I don't know what to think. It freaks me out sometimes.

- Oh no. Are you still upset that I turned you down that night? I told you that I couldn't because of my condition. And you were a bit drunk. It wouldn't work.

- You don't need to point out every time that I was drunk - Abby said - Honestly, I understood you. I really did. But it isn't easy for a woman to be rejected. And I'm not the kind of woman to get upset at it. I've been rejected other times and I didn't care about it. It's just that being rejected by you felt different. As much as I understood you, it did hurt my feelings and I can't deny it. It was not your intention, I know. But I couldn't help it. And then, there's also my fear of commitment. You know it pretty well. I think you don't believe I'll change my mind some day.

- Knowing how unsure you're towards it, I think it must be hard for you. But you'll have to. And I'm not talking just about me but it could be for someone else. If you wanna be happy, to have your our family, you'll have to change your mind eventually. I don't think you would want to live alone for the rest of your life.

- No, I wouldn't. And so you know, I've already changed my mind. But I need time to understand all that a commitment requires. I can't help but feel unsure about all of this.

- Look. I don't wanted yo wait more time. However, I'll respect your decision. I can wait some more time. Please, don't take too long to make your decision. I want you to be sure that this is what you want for the rest of your life. Because I want it to last forever. I want you to be sure I'm good enough for you. That you love me to the point of accepting this complex decision. So we can give this huge step on our lives. I don't want us to start something that will have an end sooner than expected. I love you so much. I know you can make me happy. I know you're the woman of my life. I always knew it. My decision was made long ago. I'm just waiting a "yes" from you.

- I really want say a 'yes' to you Tim. But I just can't say it now. And if it comes out of my mouth in this moment, it'll sound fake. So I rather take some time and think it better. I do want you. I want to be with you. I want to show how much I love you. But I need a break. I need to go back to my place. And think. A lot.

- Ok. I won't push anything - McGee said - But if you get to the conclusion that even loving me the way you do isn't enough to take away your fears, then just let me know. In this case it'll be better for us to take different paths.

- Do you think that?

- I don't want to loose you. I don't want to waste another minute without you. But if you're not sure of what you want, it will never work. Then we better move on. It will never be as I want but life would be so cool if we could have whatever we wanted. I won't wait for you forever.

- I'm sorry Timmy. I'm afraid of hurting you again. I would never...

- It's okay Abby. Don't worry - he interrupted her and hugged her - Go home, get some rest. When you feel ready to talk it again, I'll be ready too.

- I better go now. Before I regret it.

- Want some help with the travel bag?

- No. It's not so heavy. I can do this. Thanks, anyway.

Abby went down the stairs thinking that maybe she should have made things easier. And yet she knew it wasn't the right thing to do. If she had said yes, things would be in its way, they would be happy and probably they would be cuddled on the bed by now. She really wanted this. So what else was she waiting for? Well, if she knew the answer she wouldn't be walking away, would she?

She reached her car, opened the door and threw her bag in. Sat on the seat and was going to start the car and the next thing she would do is put the seat belt on. But the car doesn't started. She tried again more three times and nothing seemed to work.

- Ooohhh, C'mon! Why do you think I take extra care with you? So you can just leave me in the lurch right now? - she said angry and tried again but the engine failed once again.

She got out of the car and slammed the door. It's was quite late to call a mechanic. She just wanted to go home. Abby started pacing beside her car. Trying to think other possibility. But before she could think better on taking a bus or taxi, she stopped pacing, looked to the sky and raise her hands.

- Are you trying to to send me a message, God? What I'm supposed to understand? I just wanna go home. Is it too much to ask? Now I'm stuck here. What else will happen?

Abby leaned over her car and stayed there for like two minutes when all of a sudden it started to heavy rain.

- No. You gotta be kidding me. Are you trying to drive me nuts? - she said not minding being soaking wet in matter of seconds - Is it some kind of punishment? Because sincerely I don't know what I did wrong. I JUST WANNA GO HOME! - she almost screamed and then kicked the front tire. It wasn't a good idea - OUCH!

- Planning on spending the night in a hospital? - McGee said walking up to her. He had been watching her by his apartment window. As she was taking so long he decided to come down and check if she needed some help.

- Don't even remember me of hospitals. I've already spent too much time in there. Don't wanna go back anytime soon.

- What is the problem?

- The engine isn't working. Also, apparently God decided to punish me for something. And I think I just hurt my foot.

- Want me to check it?

- The engine: it 's not worth now. I can wait tomorrow. My foot: I'd love some help. It really hurts. My boots are big but not made of iron. I just found out they were not made to absolve big impacts.

- Let's get out of the rain. Here, let me help you - McGee said.

Abby kind of hugged him putting her arm toward his neck. So he could support her and she went jumping with the other foot. He had made mention to take her in his lap. But she refused immediately. It felt so embarrassing somehow.

By the time they got inside his apartment Abby was shivering with cold. McGee took her until the bathroom. She sat on the edge of his bathtub while he went to pick somethings on his bedroom.

- Damn it! I forgot the bag on the car. What I'm going to dress now? I can't keep using these wet clothes - She said starting to undress

- We can manage it - he said coming back - You can use one of my shirts and pants. And definitely this is not mine - he was holding one of her panties

- I told you I'd let something behind - she took off her shirt along with her bra. And saw him closing his eyes - You don't need to do this. If I had some trouble with you seeing me, I wouldn't take it off

- It doesn't feel right - he said turning his back to her - Don't you want to take a shower?

- No. Just changing clothes is enough. I couldn't keep in these wet ones. I'll feel warmed now. You can turn around. I'm done.

- Alright. Let me help you - he picked some towels and put one towel around her shoulders and with the other towel he helped her drying her hair.

- C'mon. I can dry my hair on my own.

- Just making sure you won't feel cold.

- Why are you so good to me Tim?

- Now is my time to help you - and he finished what he was doing he said - Let's go to the living room. So I can get some ice to your foot.

Abby lay down on the. When he got back he sat on the other side of the couch putting her foot on his lap. He started to make some massage where it were hurt. At the same time the sensation was nice, it also hurt a bit. So she couldn't stop herself from groaning. She was doing some weird sounds that made McGee feel uncomfortable.

- Can you control yourself or are you trying to tease me somehow?

- I don't know when you become good on massages but it feels so good - Abby said - Whatever you do, don't stop it.

They kept there for some more minutes and then McGee put ice around her feet to lessen the pain. It wasn't much needed since his massage was of big help. He went back to the kitchen to make some hot chocolate for them. When he was almost done he saw Abby sitting by the counter.

- What are you doing here? You shouldn't be walking.

- I'm feeling better Timmy. Thanks for the precious massage.

- I guess kicking the tire isn't a good thing to do.

- Don't even talk about it.

When McGee finished making the hot chocolate he gave her one cup and take his and sat in front of her by the counter. They stayed there in silence at first. Abby kept glancing at him some times. Until the time McGee looked at her and their eyes met. They stayed like this for a little while.

- Who am I trying to fool? - Abby asked - Besides myself.

- What do you mean?

- No one ever treated me like you treat me. With respect in first place. With fondness and honestly. Guys always treat me like it didn't matter what I feel. For some of them sex was the only thing that mattered in a brief relationship. And being young I didn't care. Because I was having fun, at least I thought I was. And then you came into my life. And everything seemed to change suddenly. Making me feel something that I've never taken so seriously. That night in my coffin. I realized I was having sex for love and not just for fun. It had never been like that before. And it was so pleasurable. Being with you was being so delightful, and not just because of sex, but because I knew I was being loved. I knew there were true feelings in there.

- If you felt all of this then why did you break up?

- I was afraid. I was experiencing something new. When things started to get dangerous, I mean, serious I decide to stop it. I wasn't ready for what it was becoming. I felt like I needed to understand what I was feeling before I could trying again. And then we became such good friends and I believed it wasn't worth trying again.

- I got a bit upset right after you broke up. I was really falling in love. However I understood it wouldn't work if we tried to push it.

- And I know I always felt like this towards you. I always loved you. So what am I waiting for? I know what I want. I won't get back in my decision.

- What do you want?

- Let's just skip the long conversation. Just so you know, yes!

- Yes? What?

- Yes. That's my answer for your proposal. I want to marry you.

- Are you sure? Because you don't have to... - he was saying barely believing what he just heard.

- I don't want to get some time to think when I already know what my answer will be. It's you McGee. Not someone else. I will do it because I love you. Like I never loved other person before. So just let's start facing my fears as soon as possible. I don't want to wait any longer. I'll get to the same conclusion, anyway. I don't wanna waste any more time. We've already wasted too many time.

- You don't know how much it makes me happy Abby. I didn't think I would ever hear it.

- I want to be yours Tim. I want to make you happy. You deserve it. I know I can do it and I know you make me more than happy. I want to be by your side. I don't want to let go of what we lived for more than one year. I want to go through the happy and the sad moments with you for the rest of my life. Of course I don't want sad moments but life isn't perfect. And I know my fear will go away.

- Look, I really want to marry you. But if it scares you then we don't need to marry. Just having you with me is enough. I can deal with it - he said walking to her side.

- Timmy, after all that happened, I don't mind facing my fears. I want to marry you. I want to have kids with you. I want us to become a family. Can you imagine some super genius little kids running around the house? It feels weird thinking about it now. But it will become reality eventually.

- I can't believe this is happening. How can we be sure this is not a dream?

- I'm not a dream Tim - she said and both laughed remembering the fact that he had told exactly the same phrase a few years ago - We have been given a second chance. I want to take it the best way. I just don't want to take the risk of almost losing you again.

McGee could have said something but he knew there would be time for more talks. For now he kissed her hard and she kissed him back the same way. They didn't want to let go but Abby pulled back a bit and practically ripped off his shirt.

- Wow. You really don't want to waste time - He said a bit surprised at her urge.

- No. Not a single second - Abby said smirking - Do you still have that tattoo on your...?

- Why don't you see it by yourself?

Abby kissed him again and he started to lead their way to his bedroom. They went bumping into things on their way and throwing some pieces of clothes everywhere. It felt wonderful. Being able to relieve years and years of lusting each other.

McGee was a bit afraid at the beginning. After he went through he feared no being able to do it. That it would take more time. But having the woman he loved, a woman like Abby, how could he not get turned on by her?

Abby noticed he was having some difficulties and helped him. She was feeling quite horny to have to stop. After all, they enjoyed the whole night. When they were done they cuddled on the bed. Both of them really pleased.

- Wow Tim. I really missed being with you.

- Me too Abby.

- I'm surprised that you haven't erased the tatoo.

- I've done it because of you. Erasing it is like to erase part of you mean to me - he said - I didn't know exactly what I wanted written because I decided to do it all of a sudden. To impress you. I put 'mom' because was the first thing that came in my mind. And I love my mother. But this one day will refers to you. Won't you want to become mom?

- It's too soon to think about it. I just accepted to marry you. Don't you think I have done enough of big decisions for a day?

- I know. Sorry

- How do you think everyone is going to react to the news?

- Ziva and Ducky will be happy for us. Jimmy may do some joke. Tony will head slap me for taking us too long to get together. And Gibbs... This is a problem... He'll really head slap me. For having sex with someone he considers his daughter.

- Of course not. We are getting together. Gibbs will be happy for us.

- Yeah. He will - McGee said and then looked on her eyes - Thank you for all of this. For everything. For not giving up on me. For being here for me all this time. I'm sorry that it took so long for us to be as we are right now.

- I've loved being by your side. I'd do everything again. But please don't make me do this. I've had a great experience going through it. Being with you for so much time. We've got to know things about each other. Not that we didn't know it before but we always learn news things when spending time together.

- It was bad what happened but it was worth. We're together now. And we'll have what we always wished. Each other. Till death do us part.

- Till death do us part - Abby repeated and kissed him.

And this way they knew they were ready to start a new life. Together. A marriage. A family. Kids. Abby knew McGee was the perfect man to help her face her fears and get through it. Just like she had helped him.

They would be by each other's side for the rest of their lives.

* * *

Final chapter up.  
I can't believe. Another story is finished. This makes me so happy. I really loved writing this. It was a bit complex at some parts but I hope you understood.

Now I'll start writing another story for them. However it may take a while to post the first chapter.

I hope you enjoyed this story as much as I enjoyed writing it. So what do you think? Did you like it? Let me know.

Thank you to everyone who read it. For everyone who reviewed it.  
Thank you.


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